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December 2003

Priorities

-Karthik Gurumurthy

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.. A Professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The Professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the Professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things-your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions -- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first, " he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal." Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."


Focus on the Greater Good

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Today I was reading Chapter 3 of "How to be happy all the time" by Paramahansa Yogananda.

If we concentrate on the bad side, we lose side of the good. Doctors say that millions of terrible germs through our bodies.But because we aren't aware of them they are far less likely to affect us than if we sensed their presence, and worried about it. When we look at the negative side long enough, we ourselves take on negative qualities. When we focus on the good, we take on goodness. We need to make a conscious effort to focus on the greater good.


Don't compare

-Karthik Gurumurthy

 

We all lead two lives:

“On stage”: What people see, looking good, in control, problem free. 

“Backstage”: What no one sees, chaotic, messy, where plans, go wrong.

Never compare your “backstage” to someone’s “on stage”. Everyone struggles. We  just don’t know it. Also comparison is always  we compare our weaknesses to somebody's strengths. Easier to compare but making a conscious choice not to do that.


Your story

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Just a little reminder that the pain you experience in your journey can actually become the power in your testimony. Embrace the struggles and obstacles you face, for they can become the fuel that propels you forward towards your goals. Your story has the power to inspire others, so keep pushing through the tough times and never give up. Your testimony could be just what someone else needs to hear to keep going. Stay strong and keep fighting.


Reflections

-Karthik Gurumurthy

I heard from one of the entrepreneurs that the window is entertaining while the mirror is educational. It made me think a little deeper and reflect.

When we look through a window, we catch glimpses of the outside world. We witness the beauty of nature, the hustle and bustle of city life, and even the quiet moments of serenity. It's like having a front-row seat to the vibrant show of life. We find ourselves daydreaming, wondering about the stories unfolding beyond the glass. The window offers us an escape, a chance to imagine and explore the limitless possibilities beyond our current reality.

On the other hand, when we gaze into a mirror, we are confronted with our reflection. It's a powerful reminder of who we are, where we've been, and how we've grown. Mirrors show us our imperfections, but they also reflect our strengths and achievements. They teach us self-awareness, introspection, and the importance of self-reflection. Mirrors help us understand ourselves better, encouraging personal growth and transformation.

So, the window and the mirror each offer their unique gifts. The window entertains us by inviting our imagination to soar, while the mirror educates us by providing a deeper understanding of ourselves. Together, they help us navigate the complex tapestry of life, both external and internal.


Valuing the relationship

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Sometimes, saying "sorry" doesn't mean admitting you're wrong. It means valuing the person more than being right.

In our journey through life, conflicts and misunderstandings are bound to happen. But what truly matters is how we handle them.

When we apologize, we're not always confessing our faults or accepting blame. It's about prioritizing the well-being of the person we care about. We choose compassion over pride, understanding over stubbornness.

Apologies hold immense power. They have the ability to mend relationships, bridge gaps, and foster a deeper connection. They reflect our humility and our desire to maintain harmony with those we cherish.

So, let's remember that saying "sorry" isn't a sign of weakness; it's a sign of strength. It takes courage to put aside our ego and embrace the healing power of forgiveness.

Next time you find yourself in a disagreement, consider the bigger picture. Instead of clinging to the need to be right, let empathy guide you. Be the person who values relationships over being right, and watch how love and understanding blossom.


Learning from my mistakes

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Mistakes, as you already know, are an inevitable part of life, and they are essential to progress and change. If we aren’t making mistakes, we aren’t trying nor learning anything new.

There are, however, two ways to make a mistake: the smart way and the normal way.

To be clear, there is not smart way to make a stupid mistake. A stupid mistake or even a dumb decision is either caused by carelessness (antidote: be more careful) or because you knew better but still chose to act badly. If you know in advance you’re doing something really stupid, the only option is not to do it. (The famous last words prior to a stupid mistake or decision? “Hey guys, watch this!”)

I’m not addressing carelessness or poor choices. I’m focusing on the mistakes we make in the course of doing our best.

Here are six simple ideas to make smarter mistakes:

1. Fess up. Admit it to yourself, and if appropriate, to others. Denial only makes the mistake you made worse.

2. Own up. Accept responsibility. Many are quick to take credit but even quicker to place blame. Don’t pass the buck. Explaining what happened and why will raise your credibility in the eyes of most rational people (don’t worry about the irrational).

3. Stay up. Don’t let it get you down. Accept that you can’t change the past and don’t be unduly harsh on yourself. If you’ve accepted responsibility, it is time to move past the negative emotions and on to the positive actions.

4. Fix what you can. There may be some things you can do to mitigate the mistake, lessen any damage take corrective action or make apologies or even amends if your mistake negatively affected others. If there is something you can do to lessen the cost, do it quickly.

5. Learn what you can. Experience is a good teacher only if you’re paying attention and learn from it. What can you learned from your mistake? Leverage your lessons or insights by sharing it with others who might make similar mistakes.

6. Avoid what you can. Use the insights from the mistake to keep yourself from making it again. Repetitive mistakes are a clue that you’re not paying attention, or that you’re being careless (see: “dumb mistakes” above).

Only the fool fights the inevitable, and mistakes are an inevitable in the process of life. Make the right mistakes the right way for the right reason. If you do, they’ll be smart mistakes.


Resistance

-Karthik Gurumurthy

"Resistance is the evidence that you are in the process of increasing your capacity."

Life has a funny way of challenging us, pushing us outside our comfort zones, and presenting obstacles along our paths. But guess what? Those moments of resistance are not setbacks. No, they're signs of progress and growth.

When we encounter resistance in our personal lives, professional endeavors, or even our dreams, it means we're pushing our limits, reaching for new heights, and expanding our capabilities. It's proof that we're actively working towards becoming the best version of ourselves.

Think about it: When lifting weights, the resistance builds your muscles. When you're learning something new, the resistance strengthens your knowledge. The same principle applies to life. The challenges we face are the very fuel that propels us forward.

So, don't be disheartened or discouraged next time you feel resistance creeping in. Embrace it as a clear indication that you're on the right path, making strides toward greatness. Let it remind you that you can do much more than you may even realize.
 


Timing

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Everything that happens in life is perfectly aligned by a divine force,. Once you start believing in the higher power you realize that control is an illusion. This does not mean that you don't take any action and just sit on your couch all day long. It simply means you accept life as it is, you don't try to force things to happen. You don't flow against the current of  the river, you flow with the river. You start living life effortlessly with awareness of each moment because you realize everything is connected. There may be something that may appear bad right now but in the future you will realize it made you a stronger person. So trust God's timing as nothing is a coincidence in this Universe. Everything is aligned and connected.


Beginning today

Beginning today I will no longer worry about yesterday. It is in the past and the past will never change. Only I can change by choosing to do so.

Beginning today I will no longer worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to make the most of it. But I cannot make the most of tomorrow without first making the most of today.

Beginning today I will look in the mirror and I will see a person worthy of my respect and admiration. This capable person looking back at me is someone I enjoy spending time with and someone I would like to get to know better.

Beginning today I will cherish each moment of my life. I value the gift bestowed upon me in this world and I will unselfishly share this gift with others.

Beginning today I will take a moment to step off the beaten path and to revel in the mysteries I encounter. I will face challenges with courage and determination. I will overcome what barriers there may be which hinder my quest for growth and self- improvement.

Beginning today I will take life one day at a time, one step at a time. Discouragement will not be allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to succeed or my capacity to love.

Beginning today I walk with renewed faith in human kindness. Regardless of what has gone before. I believe there is hope for a brighter and better future.

Beginning today I will open my mind and my heart. I will welcome new experiences. I will meet new people. I will not expect perfection from myself nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in an imperfect world. But I will applaud the attempt to overcome human foibles.

Beginning today I am responsible for my own happiness and I will do things that make me happy... admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen to my favorite music, pet a kitten or a puppy, soak in a bubble bath... Pleasure can be found in the most simple of gestures.

Beginning today I will learn something new; I will try something different; I will savor all the various flavors life has to offer.I will change what I can and the rest I will let go. I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be.

Beginning Today, And Everyday.

GOD BLESS US ALL


What taste do you leave in others' mouths?

-Karthik Gurumurthy

There was an old man who was admitted in a hospital.

A young man was visiting him every day, and sits with him for more than one hour. He helps him eat his food, and to take his shower.

Then he takes him walking in the garden of the hospital. After that he brings him back to his room and helps him to lie down.

He goes away after reassuring himself that the old man is doing well.

One day the nurse entered his room, to give him medicine and inspect his condition, and said to him: "May the Lord be always gracious to your kind and caring son. Every day he visits you and shows great care."

The old man looked at her and closed his eyes and said to her: "I wish it was one of my children. This is an orphan from the neighborhood where we live. I met him one day in the past, crying at the door of a temple after his father died. I comforted him and bought for him candy. I neither saw him nor talked to him for a very long time.

When he grew up and came to discover where my wife and I were living. He was visiting us every day to inspect our conditions. When I later fell sick, he took my old wife to his home. He then comes to the hospital to see my treatment everyday. One day I asked him: "My son why do you have to deal with us and care about us?"

He simply smiled and then said: "The taste of the candy is still in my mouth".


Don't give up

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Don't give up when the going gets tough,
Don't give up when you're feeling lost,
Don't give up when you feel alone,
Don't give up when you feel like you're going to fail.

Keep going, keep fighting, keep trying,
Keep believing in yourself,
Keep believing in your dreams,
Keep believing in your goals.

Don't give up, don't give in,
Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it,
Don't let anyone tell you that you're not good enough,
Don't let anyone tell you that you're not worthy.

You are worthy, you are capable,
You are strong, you are brave,
You are beautiful, you are loved.

Don't give up on yourself,
Don't give up on your dreams,
Don't give up on your goals.

Keep going, keep fighting, keep trying,
Keep believing in yourself,
Keep believing in your dreams,
Keep believing in your goals.


Gratitude

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Gratitude is a feeling of appreciation
For the good things in life.
It is a way of acknowledging
The blessings we have been given.

Gratitude can be expressed
In many different ways.
It can be shown through words,
Actions, or even just a smile.

Gratitude is a powerful emotion
That can have a positive impact on our lives.
It can help us to appreciate the good things we have,
To be more optimistic,
And to feel more connected to others.

So let us all make an effort to be more grateful.
Let us take the time to appreciate the good things in our lives,
And to show our gratitude to those who have helped us along the way.

Gratitude is a gift that we can give to ourselves,
And it is a gift that we can give to others.
So let us all make the most of it.


Why worry?

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Why do we worry? Well that's quite easy to answer...it's because we have the habit of worrying.  It seems some of us (because apparently some people out there don't worry) have developed a pattern of mindless overthinking.

Worrying can become quite addictive. It gives the illusion we care. For goodness sake at least we are thinking about the problem right?! That's how people justify...

There is a powerful distinction between worry and care.

Worry is fear based. Care is action based.
Worry says there is nothing I can do. Care asks what can I do or how can I help?
Worry cripples the mind. Care engages the imagination for meaningful solutions.
Worry wants to control the future. Care looks for careful ways to navigate life together.
Worry paralyzes our inner world. Care brings inner wholeness.

On a funny note,  my father always used to quote the following when people waste their time worrying...


“There are only two things to worry about, either you are healthy or you are sick.

If you are healthy, then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you are sick there are only two things to worry about, either you will get well or you will die.

If you get well, then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you die there are only two things to worry about, either you will go to heaven or to hell.

If you go to heaven, then there is nothing to worry about.

And if you to go hell, you'll be so darn busy shaking hands with your friends you won't have time to worry.”

― Wolfgang Riebe

 

 


Action cures fear

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Are you taking action or thinking of taking action? A lot of the time what happens is that we make excuses or we find reasons not to do things. And we rationalize it. It’s an emotional decision to not follow through and take action and it's one we backfill with logic. We tell ourselves it wasn’t the right time, or we’re not quite ready, or it’s for later, or we skip over it. There is no way to ignore it though because that knowing, nagging feeling doesn’t go away. We didn’t follow through. We wanted to do the thing, whatever it was, but we sabotaged it. This is the hard reality.

Better to do something. It feels better to make some progress.  Inch by inch life is a cinch..Go ahead.


Judging and Comparing others

-Karthik Gurumurthy

We are each unique, so comparing ourselves to others serves no purpose. Even comparing myself to how I was a while back is not usually helpful. Typically, comparison just brings the ego a false sense of either superiority or inferiority.

If we let go of comparison and choose instead to completely accept where we are, we can enjoy both peace and growth.

"Do not judge and you will never be mistaken."
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau


Thank you God

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Thank you God for all your blessings, starting with wonderful parents, teachers, brother , wife, friends and family.

God, who art the maker of the stars,
And of the earth, and all that's in between,
We praise thy name for all thy works,
And for thy love that never ends.

Thou art the one who gives us life,
And who sustains us day by day.
We thank thee for thy many blessings,
And for thy grace that sets us free.

We pray that thou wouldst guide our steps,
And that thou wouldst help us to do thy will.
We ask that thou wouldst bless our loved ones,
And that thou wouldst protect us from harm.

We know that thou art always with us,
And that thou wilt never leave us.
We trust in thee, and we love thee,
And we praise thy name forevermore


What choices do you make?

The great benefit of heightened awareness is that we have more choice in how we live our lives. At any moment, we can purposefully choose a new experience for ourselves. We can choose to pay attention, breathe more deeply, laugh, rest, play, appreciate, do something different - the possibilities are endless.

Whenever you remember, TAKE YOURSELF OFF AUTO-PILOT and really examine your situation. Take charge and make a choice that will enrich your experience. At the end of the day, reflect on what happened and how you felt when you chose a new line of thought, feeling or action.

"We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us -- how we can take it, what we do with it -- and that is what really counts in the end."

-- Joseph Fort Newton

"When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things. Define the moment, or let the moment define you."

-- Tin Cup (the movie)


Accepting Respons(e)ability

"When you arrive at your future, will you blame your past?"
-- Robert Half

What holds you back from being and doing more? In your journal, list what you believe is holding you back.

Have you blamed people or factors outside of yourself?
It's important to understand that ALL problems are rooted inside us. Even the blocks that appear to be outside of us are only reflecting back an issue we have inside that we have not yet owned. Once we address our inner issue, the outer situation no longer troubles us.

The buck always stops with us. We step into our power when we accept responsibility for our lives.

"The most self-destructive thought that any person can have is thinking that he or she is not in total control of his or her life. That's when, ‘Why me?’ becomes a theme song."
-- Roger Dawson

"...look at that word blame. It's just a coincidence that the last two letters spell the word me. But that coincidence is worth thinking about. Other people or unfortunate circumstances may have caused you to feel pain, but only you control whether you allow that pain to go on. If you want those feelings to go away, you have to say: ‘It's up to me'."
-- Arthur Freeman


Attitude and Mindset

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Your attitude is the way that you feel about yourself, other people, a situation or a circumstance. Napoleon Hill, the author of the best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich, put it so eloquently when he said, “The only thing over which you have complete right of control at all times is your mental attitude. Right of control means that you can control it, it does not mean that you do control it, you must learn to exercise this right as a matter of habit.” Think about the power of that statement and how it holds the key to building your positive attitude habits.

You have the right of control over your mental attitude. The purpose of the power of positive habits is to give you the information you need to exercise that right of control by the selective acquisition of positive habits. By doing this, you are creating a new mind set, a mind set geared towards success.


Be a good listener

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Most people fail to make a favorable impression on others because they do not listen attentively. Big men, who matter, prefer good listeners to good talkers. Everyone is dying to air his views, pour out his heart, talk about his problems, speaks about his accomplishments, share his sorrows and joys. Even the dumb or tongue-tied individual is eager to unburden himself. There is, therefore, a constant and pressing demand for sympathetic, sincere, keen, enthusiastic and intelligent audience. When people talk about themselves, their great need for importance is being satisfied. At the same time, it helps them to solve their problems, mitigate their distress and multiply their happiness.

Many people call for a doctor when all they went is an audience. Next to their names, all people want to hear is their own voices. When you want to create the right impact, when you want to influence and motivate them, you should encourage them to talk about themselves. Even the busiest individual who charges millions of $ for each second of his time, will readily spend hours together talking to you, when you get him start talking about himself. There is literally no exception to this rule. To be interesting, you have to be interested. Ask questions. Draw him out. Make him talk about himself. Pay rapt attention. Never be impatient. Do not start looking at your watch and then start shaking it and putting on to your ear to make sure it hs not stopped. Do not yawn. Do not interrupt. Do not tell him that you have heard it all before or that you know about them long before he learnt about.

You may be smart. You may be clever. You may know a lot more than the other chap. That is very good indeed and you must do everything possible to get into the lead and stay in the lead. But never tell anyone you are cleverer or smarter than him/her. If you are really smart, you will not try to appear smarter than him. If you are really smart,you will not try to appear smarter than the other fellow. You should not give the impression that you are a "know all" and the other party is nitwit. If you can help it, avoid talking about yourself and that about your strong points. But it is different in an informal conversation. If at all you are made to talk about yourself, be brief, modest and tactful. Do not go about dotting the 'i's and crossing the 't's. If you speak highly of yourself, others will conclude that you are boasting and if you are speaking ill of yourself, they might believe it and spread it. Therefore, it is wiser not to talk about yourself.

There are few sentences or phrases which at once set the other person talking. They are truly magic phrases or magic words. Ask anyone-your friend, teacher, spouse, doctor, baker, boss, anybody-just what is his/her opinion on the subject that he specializes or claims superior knowledge. See how at once he/she feels elevated, how his/her eyes brighten, how he coughs importantly and proceeds to elucidate his opinion on the matter. "If you please,", "May I ask you a favor?" "Can you kindly spare me a second?", or other such magic phrases at once get you a favorable response from the other person. To keep the conversation going just ask "and then what did you do?" And first watch how he proceeds to explain how he/she proceeds to explain with renewed vigor, gusto and self-satisfaction.If you want to be regarded as a reputed and interesting conversationalist, if you want a royal and ready welcome from any and everyone, no matter at what time of day or night it might be, first remember to put this all important question: "And then what did you do?" or "And then what did you say?" or "And then what happened?"

Disraeli, the famous English statesman and favorite of mighty Queen Victoria, was beset with two serious handicaps when he wanted to get the recognition and acceptance from the British royal and high society. He was a nobody and his meteoric rise many extremely jealous. But very soon he was not only accepted but was in great demand. He became the most charming and sought-after person. His secret, which he himself wrote in his diary was "Don't talk too much. Never argue." Remember that you cannot learn when you are talking and your mouth is open. To hear and learn more, you must keep your ears and eyes open and not the mouth. The average individual wantes to talk and not to listen. Hence, a good listener is most welcome,anywhere, anytime. If you listen, you have the advantage. If you speak, others have the advantage. A fish dies by an open mouth and the frog attracts the snake, its mortal enemy because of its constant yelling. When the great Einstein was approached to provide the mathematical equation for success, he said: "If 'A' represents success in life, the formula is 'A' equal'X'plus'Y'plus'Z', 'X' being work and 'Y' being play." The impatient one could not wait, butted in and quipped, "And what does'Z' stand for, Mr. Einstein?" "Z", the great scientist replied, "is keeping your mouth shut." You must, therefore, listen your way to success and not try to talk your way to it. If you listen your way in, you do not have to talk your way out. We have two ears and one mouth. We must, therefore, use our ears twice as much as your mouth. The person you are talking to is one thousand times more interested in himself or herself than in you. That individual is bursting to talk about his hopes, wants, wishes, problems, achievements, family, friends, children, pets, possessions and what not. He/she has not time or inclination to listen what you have to say unless it concerns him/her or affects him/her in some way. He/she is certainly not interested whether you become a leader or stay as a follower. He/she is not bothered about your problems or what you want. His headache or tummy upset means more to him than Tsunami in the South-East asia. You must remember his cardinal, basic, all important and embracing fact, when you set out to motivate people and master the art of leadership.

Listen again to what Disraeli says:'Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours." Find out, therefore,his interests and lead him on to talk on those matters. Whenever you get the urge to talk, force yourself to listen. You can never impress people bragging about yourself. If, on the other hand, you listen with interest, enthusiasm and imagination, the other person will soon broadcast and televise your greatness. When you listen attentively and eagerly, it makes others like you immediately. It creates such a nice and favorable impression of yourself on them. Since they must talk and air their views and discoveries, they will everyone what a great and wonderful chap you are. They will become the strongest advocates to champion your cause. Therefore listen your way to leadership and success.


Greatest things

Karthik Gurumurthy

  • What is greatest puzzle? Life
  • What is greatest mystery? Death
  • What is the best work? The work that you will be doing in the future
  • What is the best day? Today
  • Most ridiculous asset? Pride
  • Most important asset to have? Common sense
  • Most expensive indulgence? Hate
  •  Most disagreeable person? Complainer
  • Who is the best teacher? The one who makes you want to learn
  • Who is the greatest deceiver? The one who deceives himself.
  • Who is most bankrupt? The soul who has lost enthusiasm
  • What is the easiest, cheapest stupidest thing to do?  Finding fault in others.
  • What is the greatest comfort? The knowledge that you have done your work  well.
  • What is the meanest feeling? Being envious of another's success.
  • What is the Greatest thing in the world? Love - for family, friends and the country.