Striving towards Excellence

-Karthik Gurumurthy

This calls on us all to change a deeply ingrained behavior. Most of us have grown so accustomed to our judgments that we often aren't even aware that we have them. Giving up judgmental attitudes requires that we replace them with some other attitude. The best attitude to cultivate and the one that changes everything and everyone- you and all of the people formerly judged- is gratitude. Having an attitude of gratitude is what allows us to see everyone on our path as necessary and an opportunity for us to express unconditional love. You see, judgment and love cannot coexist, and we're expressing one or the other almost all the time. Our judgments of others reveal how we feel about ourselves. They are often quite subtle, and it is so easy to deny them because we think we couldn't possibly have those qualities we see in others. Judgments absolutely undermine every experience we have, whether at home, with friends, or with strangers. This may be difficult to comprehend, but judgment is always fear-based, and until we acknowledge the existence of that fear and understand its root, we will not likely get free of our judgments.

My Grandmother, my mother were the people who practiced unconditional love. When I embrace the practice of unconditional love- seldom an easy exercise, I might add- I able to see how similar I am to those around me, and my habit of judgment lessens.  Please note the word "Habit".  Judgment does become a habit, and so can unconditional love, thought it is more difficult to practice. A tool that has worked for me (when I remember to use it) is to express a statement of unconditional love out loud every time a judgmental thought crosses my mind. Try it next time when you find yourself gripped by judgment. As soon as you catch it, state your unconditional love. It works!

If we choose to see the good in others, which is abundantly there, we will help to increase it in them, in ourselves, widening the circle of good with every glimpse. The choice to see the good is always available to us. It is a mindset we can practice to the benefit of all.

As long as we sit in judgment of someone, we cannot experience peace. With every judgment we make, we hurt all our relationships. What we do to one, we do to all. Everytime we allow our thoughts to be guided by the ego rather than by the wisdom that is also available, we add to the disharmony of life, a disharmony that gets played out over and over until it imprisons all living beings. 

Think about how you feel when you are criticizing someone. Ashamed? Embarrassed? Small-minded? Hopeful that no one else heard you? That's no good. An excellent way to avoid these feelings is to quickly review what you are about to say before you say it. If it leaves you with a yucky, uncomfortable feeling, don't say it.

Our criticisms always reflect how we feel about ourselves; they mask our fear that we don't measure up. The irony is that  every time we sit in judgment of someone else, we strengthen the very feelings of inferiority that we are trying to escape or deny or project into someone else. This behavior becomes a vicious cycle. We criticize, we feel ashamed, we criticize again in the hopes that undermining the person will elevate us and give us relieft from our insecurities.  Does it ever really work? Does it make us feel better about ourselves? No! So Why do it?