One of my friends I was speaking with wanted to share his concern for the upbringing of his children in America. How was he to keep them away from drugs, alcohol and glamor? He was terrified with all the news and media. He said “My life is miserable whenever I think of my children in this permissiveness. What should be my approach to the bringing up of my children?”
Often I question the very genesis of such an enquiry. When we operate out of fear, we transmit the energy of fear to our children; in a subtle way, of course. If we were to operate out of trust, we would transmit trust to our children.
We have to realize that our actions are born from our thoughts. Our thoughts are the products of our values, and values come from our own belief system. If we believe life is miserable, we attract misery; if we believe life is beautiful, we attract happiness. This is called the ‘Law of Attraction’.
We get what we focus on; so focus on the fact that good things will happen to our children. This is one of the strong variables, which would impact our children.
But the parent asks lovingly, “Why do children detest advice?”
The question is, are they really against advice or the way we administer it? Every parent should be sensitive to this aspect.
Reflect on this story: A money-minded son after having his lunch wrote a note to his mother that she owed him $25 and he gave a detailed account- $ 5 for cleaning the house, $ 5 for washing the dishes, $ 15 for mowing the lawn. The mother was shocked on reading the note. She however decided to educate her son.
In turn she kept a note on the dining table, which read- “Oh! Son, you owe me nothing.” My account runs like this:
$ 0 for cooking your food
$ 0 for washing your clothes
$ 0 for ironing them
$ 0 for cleaning your bathroom
$ 0 for taking you to the doctor
$ 0 for the present on your birthday
$ 0 for taking you to the school and bringing you back
Finally, dear son, you owe me nothing; because I love you.
The son read this note and was deeply touched.
Children are not against advice; but they are very sensitive to the way it is administered. The heart of education is the education of the heart.
“How can I learn to advise in this manner?” asks the parent.
Reflect on this: Have you observed birds building nests? They build in such a way that when it rains, not a drop of water falls in the nest.
How did the mother bird learn the art of such an engineering feat? It is said that when the mother bird is pregnant, intuitively this knowledge arises. Love for the offspring brings out this latent wisdom to build the nest.
Let your love guide you and not fear.
Love will show you the way.
My friend nods in affirmation that love is the supreme power. He further asked, “How to deal with children’s boredom despite the variety in entertainment through media?”
Reflect on this story:
A boy complained to his grandmother, “No one likes me at school and life is bitter. My teachers reprimand me, friends are better than me in sports, some friends are better than me in studies and I feel bitter about life”.
“Shall I make a cake for you?,” asked the grandmother.
“Good, I badly need to sweeten my life,” said the boy.
After some time, she gave him flour. “This is not cake, it is so bitter,” screamed the boy. Then she gave him little baking powder.Again the boy screamed, “This is not cake, it is so bitter.” Then she gave him an egg. “This is not cake, it is not tasty,” screamed the boy.
Then the grandmother lovingly told the boy, “Individually each one of them is not tasty but when put together; it becomes a cake”.
“In the same way,” she said, “Individually your experiences are bitter; but join them together with commitment and transformation. Add the sugar of your being and make it a cake. Life is like cooking, you should just make it happen.”