Striving towards Excellence

by Swami Sukhabodhanda

The greed for name and fame is a juvenile tendency. In one of my workshops the husband of a woman told me, "When my wife gets angry, it is like the rage of a thousand flames. How do I deal with it?"

Can you see your expression very closely? It is a product of your imagination. One of the teachings of George Gurdjieff is …. ‘‘There is an imaginary self in all of us. If one is not watchful, it creates its own world of reality. In a relationship, we have to observe how our imaginary selves operate, and learn how to handle them with maturity."

If you catch yourself in a negative frame of mind, remember the following:

Negativity is not inherent in a given situation; it is more likely to be in us and we project that on to the situations we encounter.

For example, when we say, "Our picnic is spoiled because of rain"… a negative feeling is generated – is it in the rain or in us?

Do not identify with negative feelings. Feelings are like clouds, which come and go in fleeting moments; but you are like space, which is lasting. Do not identify with clouds; but be centred in the space of consciousness. This process is called detachment. When you are attached to your negative feelings you become a prisoner to them. Attachment creates hell. Reflect on this anecdote. Long ago, there was an interesting method for trapping monkeys. A huge jar with a narrow neck was used. Nuts were dropped into the narrow-necked jar even as a monkey was in sight. When the monkey tried to grab the nuts from the jar, it would get caught, because its fist which clutched the nuts, would get stuck in the narrow-necked jar. If it dropped the nuts, it could free its hand from the jar. But the monkeys were very greedy and could not let go of the nuts. So they got caught with their hands stuck in the jar. Are we also attached like that to the object of our greed? Do we feel puzzled when we see some people creating their own world of hell? This feeling of puzzlement relaxes our being.

The point here is that change has to happen within us first, then only can we motivate others. "If you feel good, you will experience that the world is right. But ignorant people believe that only if the world is right can they feel good."

Living successfully is not about avoiding mistakes, it is about learning from them. Making a mistake once is, in the long run, a blessing for what it teaches. Making the same mistake again and again -- now that's what you want to avoid.

To not learn from your mistakes is usually worse than to make them in the first place. And the learning starts with accepting responsibility for your errors. Laying the blame on others will serve no useful purpose.

From the moment you're born, life is a learning and growing experience. Today you are more intelligent than you were yesterday. Today you are more mature than yesterday. Today you are more caring, more loving, more effective than ever before. You have grown and you continue to grow every day. The poor judgment you exercised yesterday is in the past, and you are the wiser for it.

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $100 bill.

In the room of 200 people, he asked the audience, "Who would like this $ 100 bill?"

Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the note up.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.

No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $100/-.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special. Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.

"VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED BY YOU"

By: Brian Tracy

The Law of Abundance- there is ample money for everyone who knows how to acquire it and keep it. We live in an abundant universe in which there is sufficient money for all who really want it and are willing obey the laws governing its acquisition.

You Can Have All You Want
There is plenty of money available to you. There is no real shortage. You can have virtually all you really want and need. We live in a generous universe and we are surrounded on all sides by blessings and opportunities to acquire all we truly desire. Your attitude, of either abundance or scarcity toward money, will have a major impact on whether you become rich or not.

Make A Decision
The first corollary of the Law of Abundance says that, “People become wealthy because they decide to become wealthy.”

They become wealthy because they believe they have the ability to become wealthy. Because they believe this completely, they act accordingly. They consistently take the necessary actions that turn their beliefs into realities. And you can always tell what your beliefs really are by looking at your actions. There is no other way.

The second corollary of this law says: “People are poor because they have not yet decided to become rich.”

"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not".

– Oprah Winfrey, American Television Talk Show Host/Actress/Entrepreneur

"Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means".

– Albert Einstein, 1879-1955, German-born American Physicist

"Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity."

– Lou Holtz, American College Football Coach

Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keeps You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going!

SUCCESS IS A MATTER OF EXPECTATION

You must first expect to succeed if you want to succeed.
When you expect good things to happen,
strangely enough, they will happen.
Expectation energizes your goals and gives them momentum.

Your life will always respond to your outlook, so set your goals high.
The dreams you choose to believe in will come to be.

You can't expect to succeed beyond your wildest expectations
unless you begin with some pretty wild expectations.

BEING SUCCESSFUL IS A CHOICE YOU MAKE

Your success isn't a matter of luck,
it's simply a matter of the choices that you make.
Success isn't something you can wait for,
it's something you'll achieve with effort over time.
Things won't turn up in this world until you turn them up.

You can choose to be lazy or ambitious.
Stop and think about your choice again.
You always do your own choosing.

The great opportunity in your life is where you are right now.
Every situation, properly perceived, is an opportunity for you.

First, say to yourself what you would be,
then, do what you have to do,
to make things happen.

Success is right in front of you.

Just step out of the comfort zone and take charge!

Those of us who use the Internet are challenged with spam, viruses and worms. What meaning can we find in these culprits?

It helps to remember that the cause of everything lies in the spiritual realm. And so we might reflect:

- On spam: What unsolicited junk do we allow to enter our minds and distract us from what’s important?
- On viruses: What malicious thoughts and behaviours sabotage our dreams and sap our vitality?
- On worms: How do we allow fear to worm its way into our lives and subvert our highest intentions?

Mass consciousness is a reflection of all of our individual consciousnesses. The inner world creates the outer world. When we clean up our own systems, the external systems will follow suit.

"If each of us sweeps in front of our own steps, the whole world would be clean."

-- Goethe

YOU ONLY GET TO KEEP WHAT YOU GIVE AWAY

It's a universal law: You have to give before you get.
You must plant your seeds before you reap the harvest.
The more you sow, the more you will reap.
In giving to others, you will find yourself blessed.

The law works to give you back more then you have sown.
The giver's harvest is always full.
Those that obtain have little.
Those who scatter have much.

Nature does not give to those who will not spend.

"You can never get to peace and inner security without first acknowledging all of the good things in your life. If you're forever wanting and longing for more without first appreciating things the way they are, you'll stay in discord."

-- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

Develop an attitude of gratitude. We discover a sense of wholeness as we appreciate both the small and big things in our lives. And it really helps to remember to appreciate ourselves. Appreciation is more than just acceptance -- it's respect and admiration. Let go of criticism and self-abuse.

"Generally, appreciation means some blend of thankfulness, admiration, approval, and gratitude. In the financial world, something that ‘appreciates’ grows in value. With the power tool of appreciation, you get the benefit of both perspectives: as you learn to be consistently thankful and approving, your life will grow in value."

-- Doc Childre and Howard

by Swami Sukhabodhananda

A young man who worked in a multinational bank in Hyderabad met me one day.

"Swamiji, I am a Hindu. I fell in love and married a girl belonging to a different religion. We have a beautiful baby girl. Before we got married and even now, religion has never been an issue between us. But of late I have begun to feel that if my wife had a red tilak on her forehead, she would look pretty. I told her so. But she said, ‘Don’t try to thrust your religion on me.’ Swamiji, honestly, I do not think this is a matter of religion.

"Almost every day we argue about this matter. With every passing day the discussion turns more serious.

"Yesterday, I lost my temper and said something to her which hurt her. She did something silly in an enraged state. I have brought my wife with me. Please advise her, he said.

I told them, "From what you say, one thing is pretty clear to me. You love each other. But what is the origin of your love?"

I told the man, "Love that survives because someone agrees with you is not real love... it is conditional love. Now with regard to the tilak matter, your wife does not agree with you. So, the love that you had for each other has vanished.

"Now, let us view your love from another angle. All along, you thought she would accept everything you said without any questions. Your wife has not done anything so far to change that opinion. So, it is very clear that you love your opinion more than you love your wife.

"Life is like a musical instrument. Tradition and relationship are two aspects of life. If you had kept tradition aside for a while and focussed on enhancing a relationship, the music that emanates from life would be wonderful."

I would like to think that the couple did not fight about the issue of tilak again.

The first requirement in a relationship is unconditional love.

Whether the wife wears a tilak or not; goes to work or not, cooks tasty food or not, a husband must love his wife unconditionally. The wife too must love her husband, unconditionally. Secondly, never look for qualities that are not there in people. They may not have many attributes. If there is love and concern for others, that is good enough. Be happy about it.

Only then will you enjoy your family life. So let your life be fragrant like a flower – fresh and lovely.

– By D. Mandel


Are you feeling tired, the kind of tired where nothing really matters anymore? Have your energy levels dipped to the point that you feel like you are dragging around a leg iron? It’s time to relax and be patient.Save your energy the way water does when it cannot go over an obstacle.

Water waits for the rain to fall, so it can collect itself and rise; for at this point it will not hesïtate to flow over a rock in the creek or go around it. Water finds its path. Rainier Maria Rilke reminds us: “How deep is the reservoir from where your life flows.”

Emotional fatigue usually correlates with disappointment. You might feel drained because you have been begging for scraps of attention, approval, financial security, and love. Ironically, you never had to beg in the first place because you already possess all these jewels. Maybe you don’t know where to look for them.

The antidote to fatigue is to get all fired up and forge your own universe. Your beliefs control your world; whether you believe that you can or can’t do something, you will prove yourself right! Reboot your sense of purpose and see if that doesn’t jumpstart your energy. Start dreaming and reframing your thinking to empower yourself to move in a more hopeful direction. Make sure to be specific about what you envision for yourself. While you are involved in the process of self-excavation, here are some suggestions to help you get fired up:

* Have a good fight! Perhaps you are swallowing too much, suppressing your needs for the sake of others, being far too accommodating. Conflict is not a win or lose situation. Conflict opens the door to change.

* Don’t be an unrealistic optimist! Perhaps you have expected too much and so your disappointment is all the greater. Aim for small successes. Each mini- success will fuel your enthusiasm and drive you to achieve more.

* Build up your self-concept. Maybe you have been talking yourself down internally or internalizing only the critical comments about your endeavors. Most of us tend to focus on what we don’t have; in other words, we think about that single negative remark over and over again, forgetting about all the compliments we receive. Every day list all the compliments people give you. Soon you will have a more accurate self-concept.

* Are you fighting too much? I know I told you to have a good fight, but are you expending too much energy proving that you are always right? Try to win by losing – apologize when you are wrong and wïn.

* Tighten your mind and stop wasting your energy. Relax during the in-between stages, loosen your muscles, and use your strength of focus when you need it.

* Don’t let others steal your time. Get a big Do Not Disturb sign and put your phone machine on. Spend your time wisely instead of wasting it.

* Be less involved in the product, the outcome, and more involved in the process.

* Whatever you do, experience the present – don’t dilute it!

Love Secret of Happily Married Couples

Focus More on Your Partner Than Yourself, Study Shows

• Married people with lots of altruistic love for their spouse had happier marriages.
• Married or not, altruistic love for a significant other was tied to higher levels of general happiness.

• I would rather suffer myself than let the one I love suffer.
• I cannot be happy unless I place the one I love's happiness before my own.
• I am usually willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let the one I love achieve his/hers.
• I would endure all things for the sake of the one I love.

by Brian Tracy

One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to pause before replying. A short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very classy thing to do in a conversation. When you pause, you accomplish three goals simultaneously.

The Benefits of Pausing
First, you avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other person is just catching his or her breath before continuing. Second, you show the other person that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity.

The third benefit of pausing is that you will actually hear the other person better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you will understand what he or she is saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.

Ask Questions
Another way to become a great conversationalist is to question for clarification. Never assume that you understand what the person is saying or trying to say. Instead, ask, “How do you mean, exactly?”

This is the most powerful question I’ve ever learned for controlling a conversation. It is almost impossible not to answer. When you ask, “How do you mean?” the other person cannot stop himself or herself from answering more extensively. You can then follow up with other open-ended questions and keep the conversation rolling along.
 

By: Brian Tracy

Eat that frog! Every bit of planning, prioritizing and organizing comes down to this simple concept.

Your ability to select your most important task, to begin it and then to concentrate on it single mindedly until it is complete is the key to high levels of performance and personal productivity.

The Requirement for Every Great Achievement

Every great achievement of mankind has been preceded by a long period of hard, concentrated work until the job was done. Single handling requires that once you begin, you keep working at the task, without diversion or distraction, until the job is 100% complete. You keep urging yourself onward by repeating the words "Back to work!" over and over whenever you are tempted to stop or do something else.

Reduce Your Time By 50%
By concentrating single mindedly on your most important task, you can reduce the time required to complete it by 50% or more.

It has been estimated that the tendency to start and stop a task, to pick it up, put it down and come back to it can increase the time necessary to complete the task by as much as 500%.

Each time you return to the task, you have to familiarize yourself with where you were when you stopped and what you still have to do. You have to overcome inertia and get yourself going again. You have to develop momentum and get into a productive work rhythm.

Develop Energy and Enthusiasm

But when you prepare thoroughly and then begin, refusing to stop or turn aside until the job is done, you develop energy, enthusiasm and motivation. You get better and better and more productive. You work faster and more effectively.

Never Waste Time

The truth is that once you have decided on your number one task, anything else that you do other than that is a relative waste of time. Any other activity is just not as valuable or as important as this job, based on your own priorities.

Action Exercises

Eat That Frog! Take action! Resolve today to select the most important task or project that you could complete and then launch into it immediately.

Once you start your most important task, discipline yourself to persevere without diversion or distraction until it is 100% complete. See it as a “test” to determine whether you are the kind of person who can make a decision to complete something and then carry it out. Once you begin, refuse to stop until the job is finished.