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February 2006

Having the Right Attitude

by Swami Sukhabodhanda

The greed for name and fame is a juvenile tendency. In one of my workshops the husband of a woman told me, "When my wife gets angry, it is like the rage of a thousand flames. How do I deal with it?"

Can you see your expression very closely? It is a product of your imagination. One of the teachings of George Gurdjieff is …. ‘‘There is an imaginary self in all of us. If one is not watchful, it creates its own world of reality. In a relationship, we have to observe how our imaginary selves operate, and learn how to handle them with maturity."

If you catch yourself in a negative frame of mind, remember the following:

Negativity is not inherent in a given situation; it is more likely to be in us and we project that on to the situations we encounter.

For example, when we say, "Our picnic is spoiled because of rain"… a negative feeling is generated – is it in the rain or in us?

Do not identify with negative feelings. Feelings are like clouds, which come and go in fleeting moments; but you are like space, which is lasting. Do not identify with clouds; but be centred in the space of consciousness. This process is called detachment. When you are attached to your negative feelings you become a prisoner to them. Attachment creates hell. Reflect on this anecdote. Long ago, there was an interesting method for trapping monkeys. A huge jar with a narrow neck was used. Nuts were dropped into the narrow-necked jar even as a monkey was in sight. When the monkey tried to grab the nuts from the jar, it would get caught, because its fist which clutched the nuts, would get stuck in the narrow-necked jar. If it dropped the nuts, it could free its hand from the jar. But the monkeys were very greedy and could not let go of the nuts. So they got caught with their hands stuck in the jar. Are we also attached like that to the object of our greed? Do we feel puzzled when we see some people creating their own world of hell? This feeling of puzzlement relaxes our being.

The point here is that change has to happen within us first, then only can we motivate others. "If you feel good, you will experience that the world is right. But ignorant people believe that only if the world is right can they feel good."


Learning from the mistakes

Living successfully is not about avoiding mistakes, it is about learning from them. Making a mistake once is, in the long run, a blessing for what it teaches. Making the same mistake again and again -- now that's what you want to avoid.

To not learn from your mistakes is usually worse than to make them in the first place. And the learning starts with accepting responsibility for your errors. Laying the blame on others will serve no useful purpose.

From the moment you're born, life is a learning and growing experience. Today you are more intelligent than you were yesterday. Today you are more mature than yesterday. Today you are more caring, more loving, more effective than ever before. You have grown and you continue to grow every day. The poor judgment you exercised yesterday is in the past, and you are the wiser for it.


Feb 28, 2006 Quotes for the day

Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail Thinkexist.com Quotations
- Ralph Waldo Emerson.
There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting. Thinkexist.com Quotations

- Mark Twain.

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. Thinkexist.com Quotations
- Anne Frank.

"If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."

Thomas Edison – Inventor

"Action on the move creates its own route, creates to a very great extent the conditions under which it is to be fulfilled and thus baffles all calculation."

Henri Bergson, philosopher


What is your worth today?

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $100 bill.

In the room of 200 people, he asked the audience, "Who would like this $ 100 bill?"

Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the note up.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.

No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $100/-.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special. Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.

"VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED BY YOU"


Law of Abundance

By: Brian Tracy

The Law of Abundance- there is ample money for everyone who knows how to acquire it and keep it. We live in an abundant universe in which there is sufficient money for all who really want it and are willing obey the laws governing its acquisition.

You Can Have All You Want
There is plenty of money available to you. There is no real shortage. You can have virtually all you really want and need. We live in a generous universe and we are surrounded on all sides by blessings and opportunities to acquire all we truly desire. Your attitude, of either abundance or scarcity toward money, will have a major impact on whether you become rich or not.

Make A Decision
The first corollary of the Law of Abundance says that, “People become wealthy because they decide to become wealthy.”

They become wealthy because they believe they have the ability to become wealthy. Because they believe this completely, they act accordingly. They consistently take the necessary actions that turn their beliefs into realities. And you can always tell what your beliefs really are by looking at your actions. There is no other way.

The second corollary of this law says: “People are poor because they have not yet decided to become rich.”

Examine Your Own Thinking
In the book, The Instant Millionaire, by Mark Fisher, the old millionaire asks the boy who has sought his advice about becoming a millionaire, “Why aren’t you rich already?”
This is an important question to ask yourself. However you answer this question will reveal a lot about yourself. Your answers will expose your self-limiting beliefs, your doubts, your fears, your excuses, your rationalizations and your justifications.

Review Your Reasons
Why aren’t you rich already? Write down all the reasons you can think of. Go over your answers one by one with someone who knows you well and ask them for their opinion. You may be surprised to find that your reasons are mostly excuses that you have fallen in love with.

Whatever your reasons or excuses, you can now get rid of them. The world is full of hundreds and thousands of people who have had far more difficulties to overcome than you could ever imagine, and they’ve gone on to be successful anyway. So can you.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do to apply this law immediately:

First, imagine that every experience you have ever had with money contained a special lesson that was designed just for you to help you to ultimately become financially independent. What are the most important lessons you have learned so far?

Second, analyze yourself honestly and determine your biggest block, your major self-limiting belief that holds you back from becoming more successful financially. Resolve to act from now on as if this block no longer exists.

Feb 27, 2006 Quotes for the day

Feb 27, 2006 Quotes for the day

"Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work."

– Peter Drucker, management consultant

"Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognize them."

-Ann Landers, Columnist

"Intense concentration hour after hour can bring out resources in people they didn’t know they had."

– Edwin Land, inventor, entrepreneur

Actions, not words, are the true criterion of the attachment of friends.
George Washington, 1732-1799, 1st President of the United States

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
– Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1865, 16th President of the United States

There has never yet been a man in our history who led a life of ease whose name is worth remembering.
– Theodore Roosevelt, 1858-1919, 26th President of the United States

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear. Thinkexist.com Quotations
- Dale Carnegie. 

Feb 25, 2006 Quotes for the day

Feb 25, 2006 Quotes for the day

"I always remember an epitaph which is in the cemetery at Tombstone, Arizona. It says: “Here lies Jack Williams. He done his damnedest.” I think that is the greatest epitaph a man can have – When he gives everything that is in him to do the job he has before him. That is all you can ask of him and that is what I have tried to do."

– Harry Truman, 33rd US president

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"What do you first do when you learn to swim? You make mistakes, do you not? And what happens? You make other mistakes, and when you have made all the mistakes you possibly can without drowning - and some of them many times over - what do you find? That you can swim? Well - life is just the same as learning to swim! Do not be afraid of making mistakes, for there is no other way of learning how to live!"
-Alfred Adler
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Every new day begins with possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace.
– Ronald Reagan, 1911-2004, 40th President of the United States


Feb 23, 2006 Quotes for the day

Feb 23, 2006 Quotes for the day!
"I learned about the strength you can get from a close family life. I learned to keep going, even in bad times. I learned not to despair, even when my world was falling apart. I learned that there are no free lunches. And I learned the value of hard work."

– Lee Iacocca, executive
Doubt can only be removed by action. Thinkexist.com Quotations
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

Integrity and Success

"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not".

– Oprah Winfrey, American Television Talk Show Host/Actress/Entrepreneur

"Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means".

– Albert Einstein, 1879-1955, German-born American Physicist

"Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity."

– Lou Holtz, American College Football Coach


Expect to Succeed

SUCCESS IS A MATTER OF EXPECTATION

You must first expect to succeed if you want to succeed.
When you expect good things to happen,
strangely enough, they will happen.
Expectation energizes your goals and gives them momentum.

Your life will always respond to your outlook, so set your goals high.
The dreams you choose to believe in will come to be.

You can't expect to succeed beyond your wildest expectations
unless you begin with some pretty wild expectations.


The choices you make

BEING SUCCESSFUL IS A CHOICE YOU MAKE

Your success isn't a matter of luck,
it's simply a matter of the choices that you make.
Success isn't something you can wait for,
it's something you'll achieve with effort over time.
Things won't turn up in this world until you turn them up.

You can choose to be lazy or ambitious.
Stop and think about your choice again.
You always do your own choosing.

The great opportunity in your life is where you are right now.
Every situation, properly perceived, is an opportunity for you.

First, say to yourself what you would be,
then, do what you have to do,
to make things happen.

Success is right in front of you.

Just step out of the comfort zone and take charge!


Spams, Viruses and Worms

Those of us who use the Internet are challenged with spam, viruses and worms. What meaning can we find in these culprits?

It helps to remember that the cause of everything lies in the spiritual realm. And so we might reflect:

- On spam: What unsolicited junk do we allow to enter our minds and distract us from what’s important?
- On viruses: What malicious thoughts and behaviours sabotage our dreams and sap our vitality?
- On worms: How do we allow fear to worm its way into our lives and subvert our highest intentions?

Mass consciousness is a reflection of all of our individual consciousnesses. The inner world creates the outer world. When we clean up our own systems, the external systems will follow suit.

"If each of us sweeps in front of our own steps, the whole world would be clean."

-- Goethe


Sowing and Reaping

YOU ONLY GET TO KEEP WHAT YOU GIVE AWAY

It's a universal law: You have to give before you get.
You must plant your seeds before you reap the harvest.
The more you sow, the more you will reap.
In giving to others, you will find yourself blessed.

The law works to give you back more then you have sown.
The giver's harvest is always full.
Those that obtain have little.
Those who scatter have much.

Nature does not give to those who will not spend.


Appreciation

"You can never get to peace and inner security without first acknowledging all of the good things in your life. If you're forever wanting and longing for more without first appreciating things the way they are, you'll stay in discord."

-- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

Develop an attitude of gratitude. We discover a sense of wholeness as we appreciate both the small and big things in our lives. And it really helps to remember to appreciate ourselves. Appreciation is more than just acceptance -- it's respect and admiration. Let go of criticism and self-abuse.

"Generally, appreciation means some blend of thankfulness, admiration, approval, and gratitude. In the financial world, something that ‘appreciates’ grows in value. With the power tool of appreciation, you get the benefit of both perspectives: as you learn to be consistently thankful and approving, your life will grow in value."

-- Doc Childre and Howard


Unconditional love

by Swami Sukhabodhananda

A young man who worked in a multinational bank in Hyderabad met me one day.

"Swamiji, I am a Hindu. I fell in love and married a girl belonging to a different religion. We have a beautiful baby girl. Before we got married and even now, religion has never been an issue between us. But of late I have begun to feel that if my wife had a red tilak on her forehead, she would look pretty. I told her so. But she said, ‘Don’t try to thrust your religion on me.’ Swamiji, honestly, I do not think this is a matter of religion.

"Almost every day we argue about this matter. With every passing day the discussion turns more serious.

"Yesterday, I lost my temper and said something to her which hurt her. She did something silly in an enraged state. I have brought my wife with me. Please advise her, he said.

I told them, "From what you say, one thing is pretty clear to me. You love each other. But what is the origin of your love?"

I told the man, "Love that survives because someone agrees with you is not real love... it is conditional love. Now with regard to the tilak matter, your wife does not agree with you. So, the love that you had for each other has vanished.

"Now, let us view your love from another angle. All along, you thought she would accept everything you said without any questions. Your wife has not done anything so far to change that opinion. So, it is very clear that you love your opinion more than you love your wife.

"Life is like a musical instrument. Tradition and relationship are two aspects of life. If you had kept tradition aside for a while and focussed on enhancing a relationship, the music that emanates from life would be wonderful."

I would like to think that the couple did not fight about the issue of tilak again.

The first requirement in a relationship is unconditional love.

Whether the wife wears a tilak or not; goes to work or not, cooks tasty food or not, a husband must love his wife unconditionally. The wife too must love her husband, unconditionally. Secondly, never look for qualities that are not there in people. They may not have many attributes. If there is love and concern for others, that is good enough. Be happy about it.

Only then will you enjoy your family life. So let your life be fragrant like a flower – fresh and lovely.


Tips to eliminate your Energy drainers

– By D. Mandel


Are you feeling tired, the kind of tired where nothing really matters anymore? Have your energy levels dipped to the point that you feel like you are dragging around a leg iron? It’s time to relax and be patient.Save your energy the way water does when it cannot go over an obstacle.


Water waits for the rain to fall, so it can collect itself and rise; for at this point it will not hesïtate to flow over a rock in the creek or go around it. Water finds its path. Rainier Maria Rilke reminds us: “How deep is the reservoir from where your life flows.”

Emotional fatigue usually correlates with disappointment. You might feel drained because you have been begging for scraps of attention, approval, financial security, and love. Ironically, you never had to beg in the first place because you already possess all these jewels. Maybe you don’t know where to look for them.

The antidote to fatigue is to get all fired up and forge your own universe. Your beliefs control your world; whether you believe that you can or can’t do something, you will prove yourself right! Reboot your sense of purpose and see if that doesn’t jumpstart your energy. Start dreaming and reframing your thinking to empower yourself to move in a more hopeful direction. Make sure to be specific about what you envision for yourself. While you are involved in the process of self-excavation, here are some suggestions to help you get fired up:

* Have a good fight! Perhaps you are swallowing too much, suppressing your needs for the sake of others, being far too accommodating. Conflict is not a win or lose situation. Conflict opens the door to change.

* Don’t be an unrealistic optimist! Perhaps you have expected too much and so your disappointment is all the greater. Aim for small successes. Each mini- success will fuel your enthusiasm and drive you to achieve more.

* Build up your self-concept. Maybe you have been talking yourself down internally or internalizing only the critical comments about your endeavors. Most of us tend to focus on what we don’t have; in other words, we think about that single negative remark over and over again, forgetting about all the compliments we receive. Every day list all the compliments people give you. Soon you will have a more accurate self-concept.

* Are you fighting too much? I know I told you to have a good fight, but are you expending too much energy proving that you are always right? Try to win by losing – apologize when you are wrong and wïn.

* Tighten your mind and stop wasting your energy. Relax during the in-between stages, loosen your muscles, and use your strength of focus when you need it.

* Don’t let others steal your time. Get a big Do Not Disturb sign and put your phone machine on. Spend your time wisely instead of wasting it.

* Be less involved in the product, the outcome, and more involved in the process.

* Whatever you do, experience the present – don’t dilute it!


Love secret of Happily Married Couples

Love Secret of Happily Married Couples

Focus More on Your Partner Than Yourself, Study Shows


Feb. 9, 2006 -- Want a better love life that goes beyond Valentine's Day romance? Prize your partner's happiness and well-being above your own, a new survey suggests.
Those feelings -- called altruistic love -- are at the heart of the survey, which included more than 1,300 people, 60% of whom were married.
The findings:
  • Married people with lots of altruistic love for their spouse had happier marriages.
  • Married or not, altruistic love for a significant other was tied to higher levels of general happiness.
The survey was part of the General Social Survey, directed by Tom W. Smith, PhD, of the National Opinion Research C enter at the University of Chicago.
Rate Your Own Altruistic Love
Curious about your own level of altruistic love? Rate how strongly you agree or disagree with these statements:
  • I would rather suffer myself than let the one I love suffer.
  • I cannot be happy unless I place the one I love's happiness before my own.
  • I am usually willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let the one I love achieve his/hers.
  • I would endure all things for the sake of the one I love.
By a long shot, the majority of survey participants agreed or strongly agreed with those statements.
Nearly nine in 10 agreed or strongly agreed with the first statement. About se ven in 10 agreed or strongly agreed with the second statement. About eight in 10 agreed or strongly agreed with the last two statements.
Happier in Marriage
Married people "that express a high sense of altruistic love toward their significant other turn out to have much happier marriages," Smith tells WebMD.
Altruism is usually defined as helping others without getting anything back, Smith notes. "In this case, it turns out there is a positive payback," he says.
Married people get a "significant increase" in marital happiness if they have "this kind of self-sacrificing, put-the-interest-of-the-other-before-my-own-interest perspective on their romantic and close relationships," says Smith.
Altruistic love can create a positive cycle in relationships, he adds.
"I'll say I put my wife's interests ahead of mine," Smith explains. "Well, she appreciates that and she does the same back to me, and it strengthens the relationship and it leads to a happier marriage. So, I think that's the mechanism."
More studies are needed to check that theory, Smith says.
Not Just for Married People
Married people were more likely to rank high in altruistic love than the unmarried. But altruistic love was a boon for everyone -- no wedding band required.
"Having feelings of altruistic love toward the significant other -- a spouse, co-habitating partner, a simple romantic interest, which hasn't gone as far as either of those relationships -- not only leads to greater marital happiness but general increase in general happiness in one's life," Smith says.
Humans are "both self-interested and self-sacrificing," he notes. "I think sometimes we think of us as only in competition and material benefit and whatnot, and there's clearly more to human psychology than that."
SOURCES: National Opinion Research Center, University of Chicago: "Altruism and Empathy in America: Trends and Correlates." Tom W. Smith, PhD, director, General Social Survey, National Opinion Research Center, University of Chicago. News release, University of Chicago.

Three vital skills for a great conversation

by Brian Tracy

One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to pause before replying. A short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very classy thing to do in a conversation. When you pause, you accomplish three goals simultaneously.

The Benefits of Pausing
First, you avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other person is just catching his or her breath before continuing. Second, you show the other person that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity.

The third benefit of pausing is that you will actually hear the other person better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you will understand what he or she is saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.

Ask Questions
Another way to become a great conversationalist is to question for clarification. Never assume that you understand what the person is saying or trying to say. Instead, ask, “How do you mean, exactly?”

This is the most powerful question I’ve ever learned for controlling a conversation. It is almost impossible not to answer. When you ask, “How do you mean?” the other person cannot stop himself or herself from answering more extensively. You can then follow up with other open-ended questions and keep the conversation rolling along.
 

Paraphrase the Speaker's Words
The third way to become a great conversationalist is to paraphrase the speaker’s words in your own words. After you’ve nodded and smiled, you can then say, “Let me see if I’ve got this right. What you’re saying is . . .”

Demonstrate Attentiveness
By paraphrasing the speaker’s words, you demonstrate in no uncertain terms that you are genuinely paying attention and making every effort to understand his or her thoughts or feelings. And the wonderful thing is, when you practice effective listening, other people will begin to find you fascinating. They will want to be around you. They will feel relaxed and happy in your presence.

Listening Builds Trust
The reason why listening is such a powerful tool in developing the art and skill of conversation is because listening builds trust. The more you listen to another person, the more he or she trusts you and believes in you.

Listening also builds self-esteem. When you listen attentively to another person, his or her self-esteem will naturally increase.

Listening Develops Discipline
Finally, listening builds self-discipline in the listener. Because your mind can process words at 500-600 words per minute, and we can only talk at about 150 words per minute, it takes a real effort to keep your attention focused on another person’s words. If you do not practice self-discipline in conversation, your mind will wander in a hundred different directions.

The more you work at paying close attention to what the other person is saying, the more self-disciplined you will become. In other words, by learning to listen well, you actually develop your own character and your own personality.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, make a habit of pausing before replying in any conversation or discussion. You will be amazed at how powerful this technique really is.

Second, continually ask, “How do you mean?” in response to anything that is not perfectly clear. This gives you even more time to listen well.

Single Handle Every Task

By: Brian Tracy

Eat that frog! Every bit of planning, prioritizing and organizing comes down to this simple concept.

Your ability to select your most important task, to begin it and then to concentrate on it single mindedly until it is complete is the key to high levels of performance and personal productivity.

The Requirement for Every Great Achievement

Every great achievement of mankind has been preceded by a long period of hard, concentrated work until the job was done. Single handling requires that once you begin, you keep working at the task, without diversion or distraction, until the job is 100% complete. You keep urging yourself onward by repeating the words "Back to work!" over and over whenever you are tempted to stop or do something else.

Reduce Your Time By 50%
By concentrating single mindedly on your most important task, you can reduce the time required to complete it by 50% or more.

It has been estimated that the tendency to start and stop a task, to pick it up, put it down and come back to it can increase the time necessary to complete the task by as much as 500%.

Each time you return to the task, you have to familiarize yourself with where you were when you stopped and what you still have to do. You have to overcome inertia and get yourself going again. You have to develop momentum and get into a productive work rhythm.

Develop Energy and Enthusiasm

But when you prepare thoroughly and then begin, refusing to stop or turn aside until the job is done, you develop energy, enthusiasm and motivation. You get better and better and more productive. You work faster and more effectively.

Never Waste Time

The truth is that once you have decided on your number one task, anything else that you do other than that is a relative waste of time. Any other activity is just not as valuable or as important as this job, based on your own priorities.

Action Exercises

Eat That Frog! Take action! Resolve today to select the most important task or project that you could complete and then launch into it immediately.

Once you start your most important task, discipline yourself to persevere without diversion or distraction until it is 100% complete. See it as a “test” to determine whether you are the kind of person who can make a decision to complete something and then carry it out. Once you begin, refuse to stop until the job is finished.


Feb 15. 2006: Quotable Quotes for today

Feb 15, 2006 : Quote#1
"The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those that fail.

– Napoleon Hill, author
Feb 15, 2006 : Quote#2

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

– Albert Einstein, physicist

Feb 15, 2006: Quote#3
"The will to win is important, but the will to prepare is vital."

– Joe Paterno, football coach


Feb 1, 2006 Quotes for the day

Feb 1, 2006 Quotes for the Day
"An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea."

– Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha

"You just don’t luck into things as much as you’d like to think you do. You build step by step, whether it’s friendships or opportunities."

- Barbara Bush, first lady

"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal."

-Anon