Dealing with Disappointments
January 19, 2010
-Karthik Gurumurthy
I think about Alexander the Great sometimes - how he conquered Persia but then broke down crying when his exhausted troops couldn't push forward to India. It reminds me that we all face disappointments, both in our personal lives and careers.
When I'm dealing with personal setbacks, I try to practice self-forgiveness and give myself some grace. Once I can pinpoint what caused my disappointment, I feel more equipped to actually do something about it. I've learned to identify what went sideways, own my part in it, make the necessary adjustments, and keep moving. Life's simply too brief to spend it drowning in self-pity.
John Maxwell's insight in "Failing Forward" really resonates with me: "In contrast, someone who is unable to get over previous hurts and failures is held hostage by the past. The baggage he carries around makes it very difficult for him to move forward. In fact, in more than thirty years of working with people, I have yet to meet a successful person who continuously dwelled on his past difficulties."
I know life will keep serving up disappointments and mistakes, but I refuse to let them control or defeat me. It's tempting to hold onto anger, bitterness, and grudges - sometimes it even feels justified - but ultimately, that only damages one person: me.
I've realized that to successfully lead others, I first have to lead myself well. When others wrong or disappoint me, choosing the right attitude is tough, but my growth as a leader hinges on making that choice. I try to choose wisely.
your post also reminds me of what ex IBM chief Louis Gerstner once said "In order to succeed , you need to double your failure rate" So it all boils down to how one looks at disappointment...
Posted by: Meena | January 20, 2010 at 07:37 AM