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January 2011

Unconditional Serving

-Karthik Gurumurthy

I have been approached by students , business associates, friends and family about their challenges and they ask for my advice. After carefully understanding their issue, I give recommendations which might help them in the long run. Then when I observe what they actually did, they did exactly opposite of what I recommended. This used to bug me until I shared with my business coach.

He said, “Karthik, you are responsible to your audience, but not for them. You are responsible to them to be prepared, to put forth the very best information you can and share it in such a way that it can be effectively utilized. You are responsible to them for that.

“But” he continued, “you are not responsible for them. You cannot control who chooses to use that information and benefit from it. That is up to them.”

What terrific advice. And, I believe it applies to all of us who work with people, regardless of the “audience” whether one-on-one, committee or huge crowd.  I believe that whether we’re talking about products, services, or the solutions designed to help them, the attitude coach suggests is a vital part of a successful career. And, for that matter, any type of interpersonal persuasion process. Why? Because…

#1 Attachment Is A big no-no. If we have too much emotion invested in their taking a certain action, it’ll show through, and that person will probably follow the natural human tendency to resist that  which they feel is being pushed upon them.


#2 It Fortifies Us. When we can walk away without emotional attachment to the results, or, what I call “Positive Detachment” (also known as “posture”), it strengthens us when trying to help the next person. And that person might just take our advice.

So, care about helping them, care about serving them, care about providing them value. You are responsible for that part of process. But, don’t get too caught up in the result. You are not responsible, nor can you ethically control their decisions.

Indeed, you are responsible to them…but not for them.

What stops people from commitment?

-Karthik Gurumurthy


"Commitment to continuity leads to emotional stability". -Nardone

The habits which we are committed to on a daily basis gives us the strength to get the job done. Once we know this, what stops people from commitment? Here are the few

1. Lifestyle of giving up things when life gets tougher.

2. Wrong belief that life should be easy.

3. Wrong belief that Success is a destination.

4. Pessimistic attitude.

5. An acceptance of other people's fences.

6. An irrational fear of failure

7. Lack of Vision


Are you really sorry???

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Lot of us goof up and then to avoid wild consequences stick in a sorry..even though mostly it is not heartfelt. It is like a quick solution to a bigger problem. People who are married know what I am talking about. Are you serious about your apology? This is something for you to think about. I would say this is the anatomy of an apology.

What does that mean to you? If you really want to patch things up and get to the bottom of the problem (not being manipulative here!) , given above are the steps to do that. Strongly recommend..Missing any of the steps would lead you to do this process again until you get it right..

Happy New Year 2011



I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday season. This is the time to renew the relationships and reflect on what could have been done better last year. People also use this time to make a decision or they make a vow to themselves to change few things in 2011 such as working out regularly, be more compassionate, grateful, lose weight, higher savings and what not!..Right now as I type this, it is hard to get any parking space in any fitness center. Let us wait for few more weeks and see what happens!

Typically We resign ourselves to a temporary elevation of the spirit.

It doesn’t need to be that way.

Some are able to exhibit the compassion, appreciation and joy of the season throughout the year.

How do they do it? And how do leaders keep the spirit of an organization’s culture and values alive long after the kick off or launch?

My observation is that those who do best at keeping the spirit alive–whether of a faith, holiday, belief or even a corporate culture–do three things: they remember, remind and rehearse.

Remember what you want to retain. It sounds so simple and is so hard to do. How many times have you slapped yourself on the forehead and said, “I knew that!” Yet somehow you temporarily forgot.

Have you clarified exactly what the spirit is that you want to keep alive? You can’t remember what you never knew to begin with. Summarize the key values and behaviors you want to remember. Write down key phrases where you’ll see them often. Reflect on those things frequently and etch them into your memory.

Remind others of what you want is important. A leader of influence always keeps the dream alive in the team.

A good parent looks for teachable moments to remind children of important lessons.

Of course there is an additional benefit: reminding others helps you remember as well.

Rehearse the behaviors of the spirit you embrace. A great actor rehearses his or her lines until they are delivered with perfection. There is no substitute for doing. Almost everyone knows what is good, right or important but leaders are those who act on their knowledge. Have you considered what you can do each day to demonstrate the spirit you value? Let your behavior be a witness for your words.

Don’t let the spirit of any important seasons or event evaporate. Remember, remind and rehearse to keep the important messages and themes of significant events alive long after they are over.

Let us be dream driven in 2011.

Let us make it happen in 2011.