Striving towards Excellence

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Lot of us have acquired the habit of interfering in other's people affairs.  When I observe close family members not taking care of parents, spouses, and going totally in the wrong direction, I feel tempted to call and give them advice as if they are going to listen to me and make changes.  Obsessively watching the behavior of friends, siblings, family members or even complete strangers and longing to change or control their behavior, is a great catalyst for inner turmoil. This goes hand in hand with the misguided idea that we can change anyone but ourselves. One can spend years trying to change a spouse or some other friend, but what a relief to finally learn that the affairs of others are not ours to control or even to judge. 

I am realizing that the child we parent have their own journey to make, and our so-called  control over them is, in fact, an illusion. We can set  an example  for them, we can suggest a set of behaviors , we can demonstrate a code of ethics, we can even require that they live by a certain "house rules" while under our roof, but finally  it is they who will decide who they want to be and what they want to do, regardless of our efforts.  And for that we will become grateful in time. 

I say: Let's celebrate the fact that we are in charge of noone but ourselves. It relieves us of a heavy burden, and a thankless job, one that never blesses us. Taking control of every thought we have and every action we take, and being willing to relinquish the past while savoring the present, will assuredly keep us as busy as we need to be. Doing these things, and only these things is why we are here. It's only when we live our own lives and manage our own business, freeing others to do the same, that we will find the peace we seek and so deserve.