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July 2022

Focus

-Karthik Gurumurthy

When you focus on the "Problems", your "Goal" will stop appearing, and

when you focus on the "Goal", your "problems" will stop appearing.

The Sun is shining on the day so brightly so your day is  also going to shine the same way. Let us focus on the right stuff.

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Pro

Netherlands

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Pro is the amateur who showed up every day. 

No one is born a pro.

Pro is the amateur who embraced the process.

Pro is the amateur who chose practice and sleep over binge watching

Pro is the amateur who worked worked even they had zero audience

 


50th Wedding Anniversary

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Happy 50th Anniversary to Dad and Mom. Cannot thank them enough for everything you have done and continue to do for us. All the good things that Aravind and I have gotten is all because of your Blessings and Prayers. We are so thankful that we were born to the most amazing parents. 


Taking care of parents/elders

-Karthik Gurumurthy

For those who have aged parents or in-laws at home. Beware that how you treat them sets a direct and powerful example to your children on how to treat you when you are old and weak!! It is sad to see people choose convenience than doing what is right. It is definitely a shame when I see folks giving excuses and avoiding to take responsibility. Fast forward few years later, your son or daughter will do the same like it or not. It is going to happen.  


Embrace change

-Karthik Gurumurthy

It’s not every day when one feels hopeful or excited about life, right? Hope—that elusive magical thing might suddenly go amiss.

Some days, the cup we are drinking from, may be empty. With not an ounce of hope to look forward to, we may feel despondent and lost. That’s when we must channelize our inner strength, and force every tissue, nerve and sinew within our being, to lead us on—to show up, and be ready to face whatever comes our way, irrespective of whether we feel brave or not.
These days, I’m focusing on learning to ‘generate’ hope, (mostly out of nothing!) and I do it by connecting to the Universe on a daily basis. My meditations and the affirmations greatly help and so do the workouts. Some days, it is the walking that does it. This is one connection that has now come to be my lifeline, one that I keenly look forward to every day, but more so, on the days, when the challenges feel insurmountable and I feel like hiding into my shell and never come out to face the big bad world.

If there’s been one lesson that life is teaching me these days, it is learning to be more patient—way more than I ever thought I could be. I’m learning that not all problems in life can be resolved the way we’d like them to be, and even if it is rather difficult to accept, I’m learning to be more accepting of this reality. I must say that I’m getting there, slowly.

Often, things do not seem to change even for days or months, but here, again, I’m learning to look beyond the immediate circumstances and patiently wait. Pray and wait. And hope for things to pass and better days to come.

How does one do that?

The one silver lining in life that brings me solace is that nothing stays the same. Nothing at all. Neither the good times, not the bad times. There’s such great comfort in this thought, when you’re going through difficult times. This fact alone makes the pain points more bearable. It instills hope, when all is lost. When the past is gone and the future is doubtful, being mindful of the moment really truly helps.

In learning to be mindful, one also learns to savor every little good and blessing that comes our way, the little nameless moments of joy, however fleeting and short. One is filled with gratitude because one realises that nothing can be taken for granted any more. One learns to live in the moment alone. And more importantly, one learns to let go of things that do not matter—things that do not speak to one’s heart and soul anymore.

As I continue to grapple with the slings and arrows that come my way, I often wonder what life would have been like, if things were a little easy for me.

For one, there could have been an infinite number of possibilities that could have happened in life. But, would that have made me the person that I am today? I think not.

At the end of the day, though, what really matters to me is that, the person I see in the mirror every morning, the one who stares back at me, a tad bit sleepy, tired, worn out and still managing to smile, is STILL standing there—resilient, hopeful and ready for combat, no matter what lies ahead.

Maya Angelou’s wise words ring true, now more than ever before:

I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.

 


Let go

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Continuing where I left off yesterday, I feel so many of us spend countless hours or weeks, in some sad cases, years, trying to make someone who want  them to be or to do what we think  is in their own best interests, only to repeatedly fail in our attempts. This is a tragedy as well as misspent life. It's time to let go.

One of the close family members was not taking time to take care of their parents.  They were so much obsessed  with their own life and health and didn't see that it is their duty to take care of them. My wife and I tried our best to convey this  message last year to take this as priority and act on it.  What happened? One of their parents unfortunately passed away few months back. 

Wasn't it my job to guide a close family 's decisions and actions? I always thought not doing so was so selfish and uncaring. 

Thankfully what I finally learning slowly is, be it a close family member, be it your own spouse or strangers crossing our paths, must be who they are, not who we they think they should be. 

They must make their own mistakes and through what they learn, have reason to celebrate their own successes.

There are many reasons for letting go of this futile behavior, but the most important ones are they we will never succeed in controlling others and never experience peace in our own lives if we are always focussed on how other people are living or how we think they should be living. If we want to be peaceful, we must let go of how others choose to live and take care of business in one life only: our own.

Just as no one else can productively be the total focus of our lives, we cannot waste precious time thinking we are or should be the center of someone else's life either. This may come as a blow to our ego, but it is time to learn this important truth. 

This does not mean we should quit interacting with people or shut them out in order to preempt being shut out. Nor does it mean we should ignore how other people are thinking and behaving for fear we will seeek an unhealthy dependency on them.

I find observing others can be edifying and enlightening. It simply means getting perspective on our role  in all interactions and understanding  where our responsibility ends and the other person's begins. Becoming entangled in other people's actions, dreams, or dramas binds us to them in emotionally unhealthy ways and prevents the growth we deserve. 

We want people around us who will pay us constant attention, who will make no plans that don't include us, have no thoughts that aren't shared. But that's not relationship, that's dependence; it is unholy connection. Relationships that truly bring us to peace are interdependent.  As we are celebrating the independence day of USA, it is time to let go of the dependence of our happiness with other entities. Happy July 4th, USA

 

 

 


Control the controllables

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Lot of us have acquired the habit of interfering in other's people affairs.  When I observe close family members not taking care of parents, spouses, and going totally in the wrong direction, I feel tempted to call and give them advice as if they are going to listen to me and make changes.  Obsessively watching the behavior of friends, siblings, family members or even complete strangers and longing to change or control their behavior, is a great catalyst for inner turmoil. This goes hand in hand with the misguided idea that we can change anyone but ourselves. One can spend years trying to change a spouse or some other friend, but what a relief to finally learn that the affairs of others are not ours to control or even to judge. 

I am realizing that the child we parent have their own journey to make, and our so-called  control over them is, in fact, an illusion. We can set  an example  for them, we can suggest a set of behaviors , we can demonstrate a code of ethics, we can even require that they live by a certain "house rules" while under our roof, but finally  it is they who will decide who they want to be and what they want to do, regardless of our efforts.  And for that we will become grateful in time. 

I say: Let's celebrate the fact that we are in charge of noone but ourselves. It relieves us of a heavy burden, and a thankless job, one that never blesses us. Taking control of every thought we have and every action we take, and being willing to relinquish the past while savoring the present, will assuredly keep us as busy as we need to be. Doing these things, and only these things is why we are here. It's only when we live our own lives and manage our own business, freeing others to do the same, that we will find the peace we seek and so deserve.


Leadership Culture

-Karthik Gurumurthy

In my twenty plus work experience, I have had the opportunity to work with amazing organizations and great leaders. What I have observed with the top leaders is they focus primarily on the growth and well being of the team and the communities to which they belong.  They always put the needs of others first and help their people develop and perform at a very high level. 

I have also witnessed  so called  average positional leaders sharing lofty big dreams but doesn't necessarily back it up with the action/ strategy to make that happen. To develop leaders, one needs to start from the ground-up.  What separates average companies from the great ones is their ability to build a leadership culture through out their organization that cultivates great leaders.

"a true leader is not the one with the most followers but the one who creates the most leaders."

-Neale Donald Walsch

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Employee Engagement

-Karthik Gurumurthy

CFO asks CEO:  "What happens if  we invest in developing our people and then they leave us?"

CEO: "What happens if we don't and they stay?"

"Train people well enough so they can leave. Treat them well enough so they don't want to."- Sir Richard Branson

Rotterdam