Brilliant summary by Ramesh Srivats (WTC India vs. Aus) final..In a nutshell
Please check out Ramesh Srivats twitter Ramesh Srivats
Brilliant summary by Ramesh Srivats (WTC India vs. Aus) final..In a nutshell
Please check out Ramesh Srivats twitter Ramesh Srivats
When I was in high school and college, I spent hours and hours learning, and trying to understand Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. Currently I live close to Los Angeles and from time-time we get some tremors which shake us up. Heisenberg principle is nothing to do with what I am going through..but uncertainty/tremor is the one I am talking about. I am currently dealing with lot of uncertainties/tremors. How do we deal with unexpected changes in life?
We all need to know how to handle these unexpected changes. Even when you think you’ve curled into a cozy cocoon of predictability, anything could change in a heartbeat.
The only constant in life is that it will involve change; and try as you may to control the future, sometimes all you can do is trust that whatever happens, you can adapt and make the best of it.
Since I am straddling familiarity and the unknown, waiting to form some type of expectations for my future, I’ve been thinking a lot about dealing with uncertainty well. Though I’ve written before about embracing an uncertain future, I have a few thoughts as I am going through this:
Replace expectations with actionable plans.
When you form expectations, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. You can guide your tomorrow, but you can’t control the exact outcome. If you expect the worst, you’ll probably feel too negative and closed-minded to notice and seize opportunities. If you expect the best, you’ll create a vision that’s hard to live up to.
Instead of expecting the future to give you something specific, focus on what you’ll do to create what you want to experience.
What is in my hands is what I plan—, find balance, and live the life I want.
Prepare for different possibilities.
The most difficult part of uncertainty, at least for me, is the inability to plan and feel in control. But I can plan for the possibilities. If Plan A doesn't work, having a Plan B..If not Plan C..There are 26 possibilities in total for all of us.
Become a feeling observer.
It isn’t the uncertainty that bothers me; it’s my tendency to get lost in my feelings about it.
The second I start indulging fear, I get lost in a cycle of reactionary thoughts. “It might not work out” leads to “How will I achieve my goal?” Before you know it, I’ve somehow traveled all the way to “What if I become this homeless person in the street?”
Okay, so that’s a slight exaggeration. The point is that speculation leads to feelings, which can lead to more speculation and then more feelings. It helps me to stop the cycle by recognizing the feeling—in that case, fear—and the reminding myself: I can’t possibly predict the future, but I can help create it by fostering positive feelings about the possibilities.
Get confident about your coping and adapting skills. This isn’t the same as “expect the worst.” It’s more about assuring yourself that you can handle any difficulty that might come.
Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” I could take the opportunity to downsize my stuff. I could deal, which makes the uncertainty a little less scary.
Utilize stress reduction techniques preemptively.
If you’re dealing with uncertainty, you probably have stress in your body, even if it’s not at the forefront of your thoughts in this exact moment. Over time, that body stress affects blood pressure, blood sugar, muscle tension, cholesterol level, breathing rate, and every organ in your body.
Incorporate stress reduction techniques into your day, ideally meditation, even if just five to ten minutes daily. Finding your center will help you feel better prepared to tackle whatever comes your way.
Focus on what you can control.
Oftentimes, we overlook the little things we can do to make life easier while obsessing about the big things we can’t do. What is in my control is, what I can do today to take care of the issues for today.
When you obsess about a tomorrow you can’t control, you’re too busy judging what hasn’t happened yet to fully experience what’s happening right now. Instead of noticing and appreciating the beauty in the moment, you get trapped in a fear-driven thought cycle about the potential for discomfort down the line.
While meditation is the best way to become more mindful, it isn’t the only approach. Sometimes it helps me to take an inventory of what’s good in today.
If ever you think you’ve created a controllable, predictable life for yourself, you can rest assured that’s an illusion. Nothing stays the same forever.
The uncertainty can keep you up at night, obsessing over ways to protect yourself from anything that might go wrong. Or it can motivate you to practice acceptance, live in the moment, and embrace the adventure of living.
What’s coming tomorrow might not be easy—or it might fulfill you in ways you didn’t know to imagine. What’s certain is that it will come and when it gets here, you’ll respond to it, learn from it, and move into another tomorrow full of endless possibilities.
Today I’m focusing on my possibilities, not my fear, and suddenly I feel much better.
Scientist Lee Berk brought laughers into his laboratory at Loma Linda University in California. Half of the subjects watched a video of a stand-up comedian while the other half, or control group sat quietly in another room. Blood samples were drawn every 10 minutes from both groups. The control group showed no physiological change. The subjects who watched the video showed decreased levels of cortisol, a hormone that suppresses the immune system, and "significant increases in various measures of the immune function." This means laughing activates:
Berk concluded that "laughter creates its own unique physiological state with changes in the immune system opposite to those caused by stress." He summed up the benefits of laughter this way: "Blessed are those who laugh, for they shall last." Dr. Stanley Tan and Dr. Berk have shown that laughing lowers blood pressure, increases muscle flexion, and triggers a flood of beta endorphins- natural morphine -like compounds.
Dr. Derks and his colleagues mapped the brain activity of subjects while they listened to jokes.Having discovered that the entire outer layer of the brain is involved when people laugh, they believe it could boost the immune system.
The bottom line to all this research is that laughter increases disease-fighting cells and proteins in the blood and increases our immunity to infections. Even common sense tells us that no one can be anxious and tense while laughing. It is important that we develop the ability to find humor in life.
Ever get the feeling that people-even people who know you (or should know you) very well-just don't "get" you?
Ever get the feeling that the relationships in your life-some of them anyway- are a little out of sync with your ideals and what you really want?
Ever get the feeling that there's a troubling disconnect- maybe only minor, maybe profound- between your personal life and your professional life?
In every case described above, a gap seems to exist between the " real you" and the you other people see and interact with.
Your personal brand is a perception held in others minds, and it has evolved through their interactions with you. Through repeated contacts between you and another person, his or her perception of you sharpens and your brand in that person's mind become clearer.
In other words, people are constantly observing who you are, what you do and how you do it. Having a brand is not the point: more important is the question, How strong is your personal brand? The strength of your personal brand grows or weakens depending upon the consistent impact (positive or negative) you are making on other individuals.
It doesn't involve changing your personality- you can be an introvert or extrovert. And it is definitely not about trying to be something you are not.
We should strive to work on having a strong personal brand. A personal brand is a perception or emotion maintained by somebody other than you that describes your outstanding qualities and influences that person's relationship with you.
A Strong personal brand does not result from a contrived image, colorful clothing, snappy slogan, or from having put on an artificial veneer to disguise the true nature of what's within: A strong personal brand describes a person who chooses to make a meaningful difference in the lives of others and who builds trusting, valued relationships. A weak personal brand describes a person whose attributes and perceived qualities lack clarity, and more importantly, someone who is not perceived to extend him- or himself to make a difference for other people.
The difference between one personal brand and another is that the person with a strong brand utilizes his or her special qualities to make a difference in the lives of others. Using one's values and distinctive qualities to make a difference for others is the core ethos of strong, thriving personal brands. Since the ability to build trusting relationships is a key component of professional and personal success, people with strong personal brands are able to achieve more what they want by being more of who they are.
An important competency of building and growing a strong personal brand is to harness the power of perceptions. If others' perceptions define our personal brand, we need to be purposeful about managing the perceptions we leave with them. Let us be clear that how people perceive us has a significant impact on how they relate to, and react to, us. And in some case, their perceptions may impact whether they will even take the time to meet with us. So to leverage our personal brand and make the most of our relationships, we must improve our competency of managing the perceptions we create.
Even with our best intentions of managing others' perceptions of us, it is not easy. Commonly we view ourselves one way while others have a very different perception of us. Do you know of someone who takes pride at being a hard worker- while other people perceive him or her as a lazy person. Who is right? How does that difference in perception impact their relationship? In the end, the perspective others have of us will clearly bias how they perceive and relate to us.
There are many reasons why a difference exists between how one perceives oneself and how one is perceived by others. We each have a unique set of lenses through which we view others, so to speak. Each person's lenses are colored by life's experiences, attitudes at the time, and how the person feels about him-or herself at a particular moment. The result is that a person's actions or words may be interpreted differently by various other people ir at different times. Building a dependable strong brand requires a level of wisdom and flexibility to ensure that one's actions and words consistently reinforce the way one wants to be perceived.
Why should anyone work so hard to manage the perception others have of them?
It is all about the gap in communication. The size of the gap between the way you want to be perceived and the way you are perceived by another person will have a big impact on the general tenor and productivity of the relationship. A narrower gap supports a productive and enjoyable relationship. Conversely a wider gap results in a relationship that will require more effort to accomplish things, and interacting may not be as much fun.
Today I am going to talk about a book called "Take Time for your Life: A Seven-Step Program for creating the life you want" written by Cheryl Richardson. Cheryl Richardson was originally a tax consultant where she found out that her clients needed advice and support on making decisions on the non financial aspects of their lives. Eventually she stopped doing people's tax returns and gave workshops on the "secrets of success". This is different from the other books I have read in this topic. She focusses more on life instead of simply career or personal goals. Outward achievement is all well and good, but if it is not balanced by what she calls "extreme self-care" you will burn out and be no use to anyone.
Slowing down to success
The best part of Take Time for Your Life is its vignettes of people with whom Richardson has worked.Most of her clients seem to live fast-paced lives and dream of more time for themselves, more fun and more authenticity in their existence. They feel that it is time to step off the merry go-round and take stock.
Richardson identifies the seven common obstacles that these people seem to face in living their best lives:
You may feel that to get ahead or simply maintain your current success you have to work very long hours, sacrificing everything. This is a myth, and Richardson shows how altering even small things about your daily existence can make a big difference. She mentions one woman, for instance, who tried leaving work by 5:30 pm each day and found, to her surprise, that her work did not fall apart; she achieved the same amount through greater focus and delegating.
Yet Richardson's book is less concerned with time management than it is with self management. She does not suggest abandoning your responsibilities, merely that you need to devote much more consideration to the renewal of your energies. In his book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", Stephen Covey calls this "sharpening the saw." Without frequent sharpening you become blunt in a productivity sense and lose the ability to connect with the people you love and influence those you work with.
Tipping the scales in your favor
One of the main ways to regain balance is to create what Richardson calls an "Absolute Yes" list, a ranking of what you feel are the most important aspects of your life. One client of Richardson's, Joan. put at the top of her list daily time to herself to read, meditate or exercise. Second was time spent with her husband each evening. Next came quality with her children, then study to complete her degree, time with friends, and finally household chores. She had to reorganize her life to fit these priorities, but the result included much better moods and greater harmony. Note that the elements in her life did not change, just the order of priorities.
The gift of Take Time for your Life, through its hundreds of ideas for self-care, is the feeling that you do not have to be hurried along by circumstances. You can regain control of your life simply by making more conscious decisions. The seven obstacles to a balanced life mentioned above are the springboard for Richardson's strategies to "win back" our life. The following gives a taste:
Taking time for financial health
As you would expect from a former financial consultant, Richardson includes a useful chapter on "Financial health". She manages to bridge practical financial skills witha more spiritual attitude to money. Her thesis is that once you decide to take more responsibility for your finances (paying bills on time, paying off your debts, keeping an account of spending), money stops being a source of frustration and beings to flow more freely into your life. You have to get more serious about money before it gets serious about you.
She identifies all the attitudes you may have to money that prevent you from attracting more of it, and disabuses the ready of such ideas as " I am a creative person, I shouldn't have to worry about financial stuff." A person can be both spiritually and financially rich, Richardson says. She includes a list of books at the end of the chapter that can help you appreciate this, covering the practical and spiritual aspects of wealth, including authors such as Catherine Ponder, Thomas Stanley and Robert Kiyosaki.
With her emphasis on spiritual well-being Richardson may not seem too practical for some readers, but her definition of "spiritual" is fairly loose. It simply means the sense of calm that comes to you when you are willing to stop and contemplate. Though uncomfortable at first, the practice reconnects you to what is important and therefore puts your life on more solid ground.
You need to appreciate the truth that success should not be "at all costs," that you don't want to achieve something if it leaves behind a trail of poor health, ignored spouses and children, and the hollowness of never having any time for yourself.
With its checklists, wealth of ideas, and warm friendly style, Take Time for your Life, is as close as you will get to a personal coaching relationship in a book. Sometimes you need a person outside your regular circle of friends, family, and co-workers if you are to see your true worth. While therapy will focus on your problems, a good life coach will work with you on your possibilities. The element of success are already there- you simply need to identify them and bring them to the fore.
I consider myself very fortunate to interact with successful people from different areas because of my Dad. He had friends in the banking , Sports and the Movie industry. This gave me copious opportunities of observing and interacting with different personalities who were extremely successful in their arena.
One of the people I have had chance to observe from very young age was S.Ve. Shekher whom I used to refer him fondly to as Shekher mama (SM). My dad and him know each other for over 30 years and were instrumental in starting the drama troupe called Natakapriya. Now SM is popular and well known because of producing the best entertaining comedy plays, as well as an actor for several decades and his active involvement in politics.
When you are around him, you will see his presence of mind and comic timing working in sync and there will always be people surrounding him with echoes of laughter. My dad used to tell me stories about how hard SM worked to earn this success when he was a nobody. I distinctly remember him visiting us after the play in a scooter which had a registration plate TMX 552. Those were the days my dad and SM always had long chats outside our place. At that point of time, he was not recognized popular or a star. What my dad shared was, he always had an amazing work ethic and him being successful was just the matter of time. It was clear that whatever else he may have thought about himself, he knew he was successful. And what did that mean? If he had plays that failed, he would still do the next play with the mindset that it will win heart and succeed -because he saw himself that way.
Of course- We'd expect as much: He's successful, renowned and wealthy artist. But it's important to factor in the one thing that changes the whole equation. People who knew him like my dad in the early days- before he was famous or successful- have reported that he had the same confidence when he was just starting out.
So what does this imply?
I used to think the prerequisite to having confidence is the knowledge. But it is not necessarily true. To be confident, you have to to act confident.
You have to "walk the talk" before the world responds. To put it another way, the most effective people are not only talented and persevering. They add one another essential ingredient. They have mastered the art of adjusting their inner frames in ways that allows them to succeed, in ways that allow them to be effective.
"Success or failure is determined in your own mind"- Paramahansa Yogananda.
by Karthik Gurumurthy
Courage is the inner fortitude that allows you to overcome inner barriers and to step up t0 take a chance, even when it seems impossible. The most successful people I know embody that kind of bravery that makes others remark " I can't believe you did that".
An Italian proverb says "He who does nothing does not fail." Courage means you will try something even if you are not certain of the outcome, that you will take a stand when others are running for cover, that you'll risk failure to get where you want to go. Perfect example of someone who did the opposite is Captain Coward.
Courage isn't bravado or taking stupid risks. It is simply deciding to live in a mind-set of possibility instead of fear. It is manifested in everyday actions.
Have you ever noticed that the funniest movies are the ones where everything goes wrong. From the classic ones of Laurel and Hardy; Charlie Chaplin to modern day stars like Jim Carrey or Jerry Seinfeld, it is easy to see that the funniest things are the problems, irritations and annoyances we face.
Next time, you find yourself having one of those not-so-good days, remind yourself not to take life so seriously. Laugh at yourself when you make a mistake. Laugh at life when it throws every curve ball imaginable. Laugh when you can't find your keys/ cell phone, when you fall down and get a stain in your white shirt. Ever heard the saying "You'll look back at this and laugh one day"..Why bother waiting? Go ahead and laugh about it now.
Just wanted to quote what Abraham Lincoln said regarding this.
"Most folks are just as happy as they make up their minds to be"
Just relax and have some fun.
Just to start the day with some humor.
A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill out his schedule. The only one available was Wildlife Zoology. After one week the professor gave the class a test. He passed out a sheet of paper divided into squares.In each square was a carefully drawn picture of some bird legs. No bodies, no feet, just legs. The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs. The student sat and stared at the test and got more and more angry. Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher's desk. "This is the worst test I have ever taken." The teacher looked up and said, "Young man, you have flunked this test. What is your name?" The student pulled up his pant-legs and showed the professor his legs and replied, "You tell me!"
Most often than not, our lives are wasted in fear! In order to drive away darkness from his house, a foolish person was found carrying out bucket loads of darkness and emptying them. Despite the many years he spent in this task, it was futile. His preoccupation with driving out darkness took him nowhere. Darkness is the absence of light. If only he had attempted to light a small lamp, darkness would have disappeared!
Fear is also similar to darkness. Absence of faith is fear! Once you have more faith, fear would disappear. If a man and woman do not have trust in each other, there can be no love or affection between them. Reflect on an incident in the life of Mullah Nasruddin, a character in Sufi literature.
Mullah Nasruddin was married just that morning. The same night, he and his wife were travelling in a boat across a river, along with their relatives. A sudden storm broke out and the river was turbulent. The boat rocked wildly. Everyone in the boat, including the bride, was in mortal fear. But Mullah remained calm.
The bride noticed this and asked in surprise, “Aren’t you afraid?” Mullah, without replying, took out the dagger from his waistband and raised it as though he was going to slit her throat.
There was no reaction on her face. He asked, “Are you not afraid of the dagger?” and she said, “The dagger may be dangerous, but the person who is holding it, is my loving husband.
So I am not afraid”. “Exactly!” exclaimed Mullah, “These waves may be dangerous but Allah who is moving them is full of love. So I am not afraid”! Mullah Nasruddin had faith in Allah. Hence, he was loving and compassionate. Without faith in God, he would have been devoid of love and compassion.
Some go from one astrologer to another with their horoscopes to find out when death would strike them. As far as they are concerned, their horoscopes are “horrorscopes.” Such people are more afraid of when they would die rather than what they would do while being alive! This fear would devastate them both mentally and physically!
Lots of people are confused about "Happiness". They always feel happiness is outside which they have to seek out...and most of the times they get disappointed. The following story reflects on this.
One day, Mullah Nasruddin was very sad. A close friend who visited him asked, “Why are you so down?” In response, Mullah began to cry. “My maternal uncle died last month- he has left all his property to me before dying. I thought of that and am crying now!” he said.
“I know your uncle very well!” said the friend, in an attempt to console him. “He was well over 90...death is but natural! In fact, you should feel happy that you got his vast property!” But Mullah was inconsolable.
“You don’t understand my grief, my friend!” he said. “Only last week, my paternal uncle died, leaving me property worth millions of dollars.” He wept more and was almost uncontrollable. His friend was really confused. “I know your paternal uncle too! He was 95... instead of feeling happy that you got so much money, why are you crying like an idiot?” the friend asked out of irritation.
“My sorrow is worse than that... my grandfather who is over a 100 years died yesterday, bequeathing property worth over 20 million dollars in my name!” cried Mullah. Now the friend was really fed up and irritated. “I really fail to understand, why at all you should be crying,” he asked. Mullah sniffed, wiped his tears and explained: “My maternal uncle, paternal uncle and grandfather who were extremely rich are all dead. Now I do not have any more uncles left, to die”!
This tale implies a very important truth. Greed is one of the sources of unhappiness. If we allow it to expand unreasonably, then joy or peace of mind would be the casualty. Happiness and satisfaction are within us.
Water poured into a cracked pot will not remain in it. Similarly, people without contentment cannot be happy. They will only worry about what they do not possess. Their hearts are always full of sorrow. Once the crack in the pot is sealed, it would hold water poured into it. Similarly, when the blind spots of the mind are removed, it would be filled with joy.
“If I get this and this alone, I would be happy,” declares the mind. This gives rise to many desires. These desires in turn become blind spots. For some, settling down in USA means happiness. For others, getting a visa to go to USA is happiness. When they pin their happiness on events that are likely to happen in the distant future, they let go of the present joys available to them; exactly like a pot with a crack!
Then there are those who think that happiness is sold in shops. The wise stay miles away from this wrong notion, paving way for true joy. Make a decision to be happy and stay Happy always!. Have a pleasant Tuesday!
What are the things you didn’t learn in school that have proven most value to you in life?
I’ve asked myself that question. I’ve learned much over the years and but am most interested in those things that have provided the greatest benefit; those things that have improved the quality of my life.
Currently we do not have kids, but I know once we have them, these are the same lessons I want my kids to learn. While they could learn them on their own, I feel responsible for guiding them in these lessons. What follows is a short list (in no way exhaustive or in any particular order) of those life lessons I believe will most benefit them.
Being able to talk to anyone.
The ability to engage a stranger in conversation is not only an important life skill but the gateway to rewarding relationships.
The power of a simple daily plan.
Know at the outset of each day the two or three important things you desire to accomplish.
The rewards of work.
Many divorce the monetary compensation of work from the discipline and reward it instills. Work should be more than transactional. There is nothing like the feeling of accomplishment that comes from a job well done regardless of the pay or lack thereof.
The undependability of luck.
Life isn’t a lottery ticket. You can’t depend on happenstance and fortune to make your way. The only luck you can count on is the luck you make with your wit and hard work.
The value of lots of experiences.
Those who try little limit themselves severely. The more things you attempt, the more quickly you learn what you really value.
The ability to extract lessons from whatever happens.
No teacher will follow you through life to tell you what you should have learned from what happened. Reflection about what can be learned from anything that happens is the key to lifelong learning.
The willingness to confront facts and take responsibility.
You only get full credit when you take responsibility. Facing harsh facts is never easy by always essential. The question always reduces to “What can I do to positively affect this situation?”
How to handle money.
Money provides means but it doesn’t provide skills. While earning money is something almost everyone learns, learning how to handle it is too often neglected. The ability to save, manage and invest money is necessary for the accumulation and effective use of money earned.
How to be bigger than circumstances or the limitations of others.
Petty people are never an adequate excuse to be petty. The noble are those who can maintain composure and act with dignity regardless of their situation.
That is the ability to bounce back from setbacks and defeats, and to do so as quickly as possible. The ability to get back on your feet when you’ve been knocked down by life is crucial.
These are all lesson taught directly in word and indirectly in deed. The latter is most powerful.