-Karthik Gurumurthy
Gather 'round, dear ones, and listen to the ancient wisdom that flows through our veins, connecting us all like rivers to the sea...
In the beginning, there was Humility. The old ones knew this truth: that we each stand as but one link in an endless chain. "I take my place in this system as it is," they would say, eyes cast respectfully toward their ancestors' shadows. "With respect and humility, I acknowledge those who came before me and those around me." They understood that true change comes not from forcing the river to flow upstream, but through the quiet power of presence, of awareness, of shouldering one's own responsibility.
Then came the teaching of Belonging. Even when winter winds howled fiercest, they remembered: "I belong here. Even when things are difficult, I am part of this system." Like trees in the ancient forest, our roots intertwine beneath the surface. "I do not need to earn my place," the elders would remind the young ones, "for it is already given."
The wise ones practiced Non-Resistance. As mountains stand unmoved by storms, they would breathe deeply and affirm: "I allow what is. I do not resist what I cannot control." Their strength came from knowing where their true power lay—in their actions, not their wishes. "I act where I have power," they taught, "and I surrender what is not mine."
Self-Containment was their shield. The burden-bearers learned to set down their heavy loads, saying: "I do not carry what is not mine. I give back the burdens, judgments, and projections to where they belong." Like the moon reflecting light but not generating it, they refused to own what was not theirs to hold.
They stood firm in their Boundaries. Even the gentlest among them knew this truth: "I have the right to exist, to take space, and to protect my energy." With voices soft yet unwavering, they would declare, "I can say no with love and firmness," teaching that boundaries are not walls but sacred thresholds.
Wholeness remained their birthright, even in darkest times. "Even in chaos, I remain whole," they would whisper when storm clouds gathered. "I do not need to split myself to survive. I am safe in my center." Like the eye of the hurricane, they found stillness amid turmoil.
The elders walked with Responsibility, light-footed yet grounded. "I take responsibility only for what is mine," they would counsel those who tried to carry the world. "I do not fix others. I do not judge their path. I walk my own with integrity," showing that true leadership begins with tending one's own garden.
Their Presence transformed spaces without words. "Today, I bring calm, clarity, and dignity into the space," they would silently affirm with each sunrise. "I show up for myself and let that ripple outwards," understanding that presence speaks louder than proclamations.
And always, always, they moved with Reverence. When others saw only brokenness, they perceived the hidden order: "All systems move toward healing," they would remind the impatient ones. "I honor this truth, even when I cannot yet see the outcome," trusting in the unseen wisdom that guides all things toward wholeness.
And so these teachings were passed down, whispered from heart to heart, reminding us that we are never truly alone—we are part of something vaster, older, and wiser than ourselves.
Bert Hellinger's affirmations represent a profound philosophy about how we relate to our family systems, communities, and the world around us. At their core, they contain several interconnected meanings:
The affirmations speak to our place within larger systems—particularly family systems—and how recognizing these dynamics can lead to healing and wholeness. When we understand our position within these systems, we can find peace by accepting what is, rather than struggling against natural orders.
Each affirmation addresses different aspects of this systemic wisdom:
Humility teaches us that we are part of something larger than ourselves. True change doesn't come from forcing our will upon systems, but through respectful presence and awareness. This means acknowledging our ancestors and our place in the lineage without trying to disrupt natural hierarchies.
Belonging reminds us that our place in our family or community is inherent—not something we need to earn or prove. Even in difficult times, we are intrinsically part of our systems of origin.
Non-Resistance invites us to flow with life rather than fight against what cannot be changed. It's about discerning where our true power lies and accepting the limits of our control.
Self-Containment encourages us to not take on emotional burdens, patterns, or traumas that belong to others. Many carry ancestral wounds or others' expectations that aren't theirs to bear.
Boundaries affirm our right to define our own space and protect our energy. Setting healthy boundaries is an act of self-respect and, ultimately, respect for the system itself.
Wholeness reminds us that even in chaos or difficulty, we remain complete. We don't need to fragment ourselves to survive challenging circumstances.
Responsibility clarifies that while we must take ownership of our actions and choices, we aren't responsible for "fixing" others or their paths. This distinguishes true responsibility from over-responsibility.
Presence speaks to the power of showing up fully—calm, clear, and dignified. Our centered presence affects systems far more profoundly than our words or actions alone.
Reverence acknowledges that systems naturally move toward balance and healing when we stop interfering. This requires patience and trust in processes we may not fully understand.
Together, these principles form the foundation of Hellinger's Family Constellations work—a therapeutic approach that helps people identify and release entanglements in family systems that may be causing suffering across generations. They guide us toward a more peaceful and aligned existence by honoring the orders of love that govern human relationships.